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The Worst Resume Template Ever

resume_hunter.jpg

We here at Jobacle are on an endless hunt for the perfect resume. And we're pleased to report that so far, it's nowhere to be found. Cue the music, Bob. It's time for the Resume Hunter! Today's lucky contestant is Vinay Pandey of New Delhi.

Fluff: The first thing I gather from this resume is NOTHING. After reading his objective I have no idea what Vinay does or wants to do. Be clear in your objective; especially if you want to work in HR. Also keep it short and to the point, and for God's sake, no run on sentences.

Grammatical errors are completely unacceptable in this day and age. Word processing has come too far to allow misspellings. If anyone can figure out Vinay's objective, please explain it to me because I'm lost. If one has enough technology to post a resume on the Internet, one has the technology to make sure that what they write is grammatically correct. Or at least darn close.

Layout: A Google search of "resume format" garners roughly 22 million results. There is no reason anyone should have a resume that follows no apparent format. There's a fine line between experimentation and a cluster f***. Vinay has the latter on his hands. The Internet offers an enormous amount of free resume samples and layout templates. In today's e-World employers are flooded with potential employment candidates. At some point they have to narrow down the pile, and I can all but guarantee that this resume would be deleted at first glance.

Editing: Take the time to trim the fat. Have someone you trust read the resume over to make sure that you have included what is important. I will assume that a candidate currently pursuing an MBA has graduated high school, right? In fact, the majority of jobs available to those that have not earned a high school diploma or a GED are ones that only require an application to be filled out. Also, declaring that the information that you gave is true to the best of your knowledge is completely suspect and should be omitted. Due to the misuse of capital letters and its disjointed layout, this resume already looks like a ransom note. I would consider dropping the line all together.

This resume smells like it might have come from an agency that promised to find Vinay a job. Well, suspected language barrier aside, he should definitely ask for his money back.

Simply stating that you are pursuing your MBA is not enough. Heck, I'm pursuing Angelina Jolie. That doesn't mean I have a realistic chance of landing her.

Personal History: One has got to keep in mind what information is pertinent to the position being applied for. Something tells me that there isn't an employer in the world that would need to know the names of Vinay's parents. I'm also not a big fan of the hobbies section. If the employer cares they will ask during the interview. The resume is not the place to inform people that you enjoy light music. In fact, that's a personal nugget you should probably keep to yourself - always.

Vinay also boasts of his "ability to interact with people." This isn't a strength, it's an indicator that you are a human being.

Maybe Vinay just isn't that computer savvy. One of his hobbies states how he loves the "inter net."

His address is listed as "Opposite Pushkar Gas." This might be a cultural thing that I shouldn't even point out - but I'm curious - does anyone out there have an answer? Is this the equivalent of listing my address as "across the street from Dairy Queen?"

So there it is folks. I'm sure Vinay is a great guy. An athletic fellow that enjoys light music and loves his parents. Unmarried he may be but not for long, ladies. The point is, an employer should take away a feeling of professionalism and confidence when skimming through a resume. Having parents does not qualify one to work in marketing or human resources, but it just might wind up as material for the Resume Hunter.

Posted on Thursday, November 29, 2007 at 03:17PM by Registered CommenterEric S. in | Comments40 Comments

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Reader Comments (40)

I found this post on the Vault blog and wanted to let you know that you have gained a subscriber. Very useful and funny blog you have here.
December 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterChloe Bashenel
Don't you think you should black out the person's email address/home address, etc?
December 5, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterquinn
I wouldn't put the blame entirely on Vinay. There are huge cultural differences in the way people from India write their resumes to the way american's write them. You should probably be busting his agency's balls instead.

an aside to his address: Most people also don't have "real" addresses in india, so they use popular landmarks to point out their location.

still damn funny tho. i see billions of these ever day.
December 5, 2007 | Unregistered Commenteraaron
Not funny! Especially since you did not bother to 'black out' this guy's personal information.

This resume would not really raise any eyebrows in India. I am curious to know where this resume was found. Was this guy applying for a job in the U.S.? (in which case, this would be funny).

It is normal to include personal information in a resume back in India. Heck... I've even included my passport number once! And as for the address - yes, it is normal.

Understanding cultural differences is important before going resume-bashing. There is a world of difference when it comes to job searching, between the East and the West.


December 5, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterVinod
Hey,

I appreciate the value of learning from others' mistakes. However funny they may be, though, I agree that its basic manners to wipe out any obviously personal information such as e-mail addresses, phone numbers or (at a bare minimum) last name. For someone in HR surely protecting applicants' privacy should be second nature?

A second point: two of the several mistakes you mention are, indeed, cultural artifacts. It's common (and sometimes expected!) for employees to list their parents names on applications in India.

Regarding 'opposite Pushkar Gas,' that's another Indian-ism: because many Indian cities are hard to navigate, landmarks are often mentioned in addresses. The GRE test center in Gurgaon (outside of Delhi), for example, lists its location as 'oppostite the Indian Oil' building.

These are obvious mistakes but a little cultural literacy (surely another thing to expect from modern HR departments) would help.

Thanks for the wit & wisdom,

DD.
December 5, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterDesidefender
Very poor form to post the resume with full contact details displayed.
December 5, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterBrad
That is a terrible resume, especially if it was used in America. But you, sir, are a culturally ignorant oaf.

But so are many people, especially when they come from rather big countries and have little cultural exposure - so I guess it's not your fault. We'll forgive you that one.

But the fact that you do not cancel out this poor guy's personal details is not forgivable. In fact it's illegal in my country under data protection laws, and probably also in yours. Not to mention cruel...
December 5, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterKen
Yes, this looks much like typical indian resumes, or more commonly they are referred to as CV's in India. The address, parents name, ridiculously large objective are all typical in an Indian resume. To reference Vinod's post, was this guy sending this to apply for a job in the states, in that case he should have done his hw and formatted it properly, but for jobs in India it seems like a typical resume.
December 5, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterdizzle
Please tell me that Vinay Pandey and vinaypandey098@gmail.com are details that were "changed to protect the innocent" and not his real name and email address. I don't care if he sent you his colonoscopy video, it's completely abhorrent that you mock him and published his real name on the internet (yes, you mock him... your comments trying to come across as caring and culturally sensitive to avoid giving that impression are patronizing and transparent). You must completely suck as an hr employee.
December 5, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterNBates
The misuse of capitol letters? were you checking to make sure we're paying attention? When referring to letters, it's capital. Funny place to make that error...being the "editing" section and all...
December 5, 2007 | Unregistered Commentercv
ouch. this would have been funnier if you used someone who had a chance in hell of making a decent resume, but instead chose not to.
December 5, 2007 | Unregistered Commenteryou got served
It appears this cv was posted to scribd.com, which makes it available for view by the public.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/522648/my-resume-for-summers-training

So, technically Vinay was asking for it. Still, picking apart an American resume might have been more entertaining.
December 5, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJessie
I understand the lack of cultural knowledge--it happens sometimes but is very unprofessional to write about something that you don't know about. Also, very poor taste and legal ramifications with not deleting personal identification. Lastly, you talk about the poor editing/grammar but in the blog comments there is a grammatical error in the paragraph on personal notes... "There IS tons of articles..." better check your grammar book
December 5, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterDee
We appreciate people pointing out the cultural differences. That's part of the fun.

As a previous commenter pointed out, this resume was posted on Scribd - for the PUBLIC to see.

For all of you PC-centric folks, this is clearly not the Web site for you. No one is looking to be "mean" - but we will always call it as we see it. Also, we've picked apart "American" resumes too. Just search for "Resume Hunter" and you can see his past work.

The fact that the Resume Hunter was called an "OAF" is awesome! LOL!
December 5, 2007 | Registered CommenterAndrew G.R.
As a long-time reader I must come to the Resume Hunter's defense. HE did not decide to make Vinay's information public - either Vinay or the agency he hired did. Maybe I just have a thicker skin but I am by no means offended by this blog.

Keep up the great work!
December 5, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterPillz and Stash
Dear Hr guru,

So happy ami that you have cosen to feature my CV so prominentially. Thanking you for your comments on my Objectives, please allow me to clarify. My sincere objective is to service your felicitous organization and to funky soul brother with you. I hope someday to say Gumbye, Mumbai, and join the ranks of your great American investment bankers such as Warren Bufet and Patrick Bateman.

My new address is next to fat Vijay the goat seller. I look foward to hearuing from you and my newest B-1 visa.

Hopefully,
Vinay Pandey
December 5, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterVinay Pandey
Interesting that you make fun of someone else's shortcomings, yet your article is replete with errors in grammar and punctuation.
December 5, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterTrynn
I have no interest in defending the choice to not block out the name. The resume was found on a public site and posted for all to see. I was not snooping through files to make private information public. As with everything on the Internet once it is out there it lives in cyberspace forever. If we can watch pop princesses descend into self destructive disasters, view beheadings online, and push reality based programming to the top of Nielsen's ratings we are certainly not all that concerned with this guys name being included on a blog.

The fact is anyone can go to scribe and look at resumes and personal information all day long. As for the Resume Hunter, it is my job to take a clearly botched (or in this case culturally different) resume and point out obvious mistakes. It is nothing more than a new spin on the typical "5 Resume Tips Guaranteed to Land that Job" type articles that are tired and boring.

Look on the bright side, for any other Indian born job hunter writing a resume in English with the hopes of finding a job in America I am doing them a service. Clearly the people at scribe.com are offering up no advice.

Touché on picking up on my own errors, but if you can look at that resume, read my job posting and put them in the same class you're out of your mind. Trynn goes so far as to say that this blog is "replete" with errors. If your definition of replete is abundantly supplied or provided than by all means take out your red pen and mark away. Otherwise don't overstate what is not true.

My condolences to all those that just couldn't handle my insensitive brand of humor.
December 5, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterThe Resume Hunter
"than"
December 5, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterhaha
This blog is so racist, I don't even know where to begin. If you're going to pick on somebody's resume, why pick the resume of a foreigner? Clearly the cultural standards are different for an Indian resume and an American one. Your picking on this guy just makes you a complete a-hole. How sad for all of us that an ignoramus like you works in HR.
December 5, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterBarefoot

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