Reveal Your Company's Holiday Plans and Win
The holiday flood gates have officially swung wide open. In fact, as I type this, I'm surrounded by strings of lights, faux snow flakes and poinsettias. They're probably at your office too;"Ambiguous decorations" as to not offend anyone.
I hate being a Grinch. I LOVE the holidays - when I'm with my family and friends. Holidays at work, however, are nothing but a land mine-filled mess.
Career media will trot out their annual Holiday Party Dos and Don'ts list. (It's already started)
As always, it will be stale information. These same folks will fabricate stories of office party chaos. You know, the one where the boss and the administrative assistant had too much to drink? It's all BS.
December is jam-packed with bizarre office rituals. For example, this Holiday Door Decoration Contest that was submitted by an anonymous Jobacle reader.
Listen, anything with that many rules that is judged by "The Quality of Work Life Committee" simply can't be fun!
Here's some insight into my annual holiday misery. Every year my boss has the most degrading office ritual. He lays out all of the swag he acquired during the year in his office. The staff then picks numbers to determine who can enter the "store" first. You walk in, pick an item, and then stand around making bad jokes about what you picked. Everyone takes turns until everything is gone.
Now what kind of stuff do we get? Some shining examples from last year include a knapsack, a t-shirt and plenty of mugs - all emblazon with company logos.
It might not be the best thing for my career, but this year I will NOT participate. No way.
Now we want to hear about what your company does. Whether it's an obnoxious Kris Kringle grab bag or wacky holiday party - tell us! It can be good, bad or funny. Special attention will be given to those people who share an image or a memo.
One winner will get FIFTY DOLLARS via PAYPAL. That's right, cold hard cash for you to spend anyway you like at all of those post-holiday sales.
To enter, please send your story to JOBACLE at GMAIL dot COM. Contest ends on December 31, 2007 at 11:59pm ET. Your entry might be included on the Jobacle blog. Please provide specific instructions if you would like certain information to remain anonymous. We will respect your wishes and never put your job in jeopardy.
Oh, and happy holidays!!
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Reader Comments (10)
I know it's not the best story but I really could use the prize to help me with the bills!!!
holidays at work compromise every diversity standard that corporate america supposedly works so hard to enforce.
i won't bore you with the reasons why. rather, allow me to tell you about the time a genius ran aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel.
no, she didn't get electrocuted but she cut herself pretty badly on the shreds.
there's still blood on the carpet.
of behavior at a Christmas party that I had only heard about until then. The
party took place at a trendy hot spot in downtown Manhattan. I was working
for a media giant and it was an open bar until around 11pm. One woman I
worked with definitely enjoyed these moments a little too much.
In a nutshell, she proceeded to get very drunk. I'm not talking about
slurred words, I'm talking about crossing all sorts of boundaries. In her
most uninhibited state she decided to give all the guys standing around the
bar a treat by lifting up her shirt. The bra stayed down, but in the middle
of prattling on in a conversation she probably shouldn't have been having
she lifts up her sweater and holds it there for a good 5 seconds.
For her next trick- and I honestly don't know what led to this moment- but
seemingly out of nowhere she reaches out and grabs my buddy/co workers
package. At this stage everyone is in the wrong and this little gang should
have split up hours ago. They did not see it that way.
Finally, we are all clearing out of the club and heading back up town in
separate cabs to continue with the festivities. I catch a cab and shout back
to the group that I've got one if anyone wants to hop in. Lucky me, two
people jump in the cab; one being the same girl, now blotto.
The taxi starts to head uptown and she is now saying nothing. Clearly not
well, first I notice the window get cracked. Now with the window open and
her barely able to move she mutters, "I'm gonna be si..." and with this puts
her hand up to her face, but never actually leans towards the open window.
The result was a projectile vomit that hit her hand and splashed back all
over herself.
My coworker and I made the decision to get this girl to the train station
and on her way home.
Life went on and she lived to tell- as did we who were there- but there was
a lot of damage control to be done. After basically sneaking into work and
locking herself in her office she was able to lay low long enough to come up
with a really lame excuse for her behavior and even for why she got sick.
After that I basically made the decision to keep myself to a 3 or 4 beer
minimum at these events, and I never go near the hard stuff.
1. Give your supervisor a joint gift with several co-workers or a simple holiday card.
2. It is OK to give gifts and cards to people who do not celebrate the season or holiday the same way you do. Stick to secular sayings such as "Happy Holidays" or "Season's Greetings."
3. Unexpected gifts do not have to be reciprocated. All that’s required is a warm "Thank you!"
4. If you are unsure of what to get for a colleague, a gift certificate is an acceptable choice – just make sure it's from a store that he or she enjoys.
5. If your office continues the tradition of individual gifts instead of a holiday grab bag, make sure to give gifts to selected individuals in private so that no one's feelings are hurt. Also, do not make gifts too personal, and do not buy something that’s inappropriately expensive.
Despite the fact that most of the employees were only earning about $7 a hour, the powers-that-be combined their lack of braincells and settled on charging people $25 to attend.
Not surprisingly, two weeks before the party, less than 10 tickets had been sold. Since the ballroom, caterer, and band had already been booked, the management braintrust had no choice but to give away tickets.
At that point, several hundred grasping employees claimed their free tickets while the rest refused them on moral grounds (Actually, some wanted to go, but couldn't as they were scheduled to work during the event. They did, however, get treated to Subway by management. Jealous?)
Anyway, the party came and went. People claimed to have had a good time getting their dance and snack on.
Then, three days after the gala, the event planner started passing out slips of paper to some of the attendees. It turned out they were forms authorizing the payroll department to deduct the taxes on the door prizes from the paychecks of the people who had won them. Merry Christmas!
Naturally, all of the winners were incensed. The next day in the lobby there was a stack of returned door prizes including a huge gas grill.