How to Squash Office Anger

Ever have one of those days at work where you dream of ways to get fired and depraved ways to make a splashy exit?

Yesterday was mine.  

One of those days when uneducated underlings overstep their bounds?

One of those days (when people who know better) "accidentally" forward an e-mail to upper management?

One of those days, where as hard as you try, you can't help but hear everyone's phone conversations - and none of them are work related?

Under the fluorescent lights, the devil was raging inside of me and I had to make it stop.  If there ever was a time to lean on my knowledge of Buddhism - this was it.  I've podcasted in the past about The Five Precepts  (download here), and today, I'd like to share how I rely on the power of Zen to slow myself down, keep things in perspective and avoid going postal (joke!).  The key?  Seated Zazen.  Basically, a "light" form of meditation that you can easily get away with at your desk.  The beauty is, nothing is needed.  No incense, candles, beads or bells!  Just you!  The goal is to simply concentrate on what you are doing.  When other thoughts creep in, and they will, just acknowledge them and let them go.  Bring your mind back to the matter at hand.  

Tune out outside noise and just concentrate on your breath.

Here are several things I do to help me bring myself back to center.  Do they always work? No. But most of the time, it's amazing how these little things can make a huge difference.

Walk the Hall.  As soon as I feel myself start to simmer and get really worked up, I get up from my desk and go for a walk.  It doesn't have to be long, and it doesn't matter where I'm heading.  The goal is to measure my breath by my footsteps and establish a rhythm.

Count Breath. Sometimes the task at hand makes it impossible to go for a stroll.  In this instance, you can count breath. Make sure you breathe in deeply through your nose, watching your abdomen rise.  Exhale evenly and count as you go.  Sometimes it only takes three breaths.  Sometimes, 300.

Assigned Time. Achieving equanimity at work is true challenge, and only achievable when you avoid extreme emotions - whether they are good or bad.  One tactic is to set aside time everyday (schedule it in Outlook or on your cell phone) to be mindful.  All you have to do is be aware of what is happening at that moment.  It can be for as little as a minute.  If a co-worker is annoying you, think about how that person is really different not very different from you.  If you have a project that's weighing on your brain, think about its true importance and whom it will be impacting.

Half-Smile. We've already explored the secrets of a fake smile, but a half-smile is 100% real.  Fear not!  It's so slight that no one around you will even notice. The power of curling your lips sends a message of happiness through your body, short-circuiting negative feelings.  Read more on the benefits of smiling.

It's important to note that when many of us get angry at work, it's out instinct to grab the ear of the nearest person and vent.  While this might provide what feels like immediate relief, in reality, all you are doing is rehearsing anger - not reducing it.

We all tend to get angry at work - some more than others.  Heck, that's one of the whole reasons I started Jobacle and the Working Podcast, as a therapeutic outlet for my problems with the whole 9-to-5 concept.  I promise you that by relying on some of the tools above, you'll take the edge off of some tough times at the office.

One final thing you can do to reduce anger is to give yourself a Heart Sutra.  This is a simple statement of love and compassion that you can say to yourself when you start to feel the fire of anger.  It can be as simple as "I love my wife" or "I'm so grateful for my parents."   The statement is yours - so make it something that will let you enjoy a moment of gratitude and enlightenment.

As always, if you have tips on how you stay chill at work, please leave a comment below - and qualify for prizes.

Comments

[Tamborine Man]

We are so much alike that I feel like my mind is writing this blogg. I will try to stay calm by using the things you suggest.

[krystyn]

I used to work in an ad agency that was like this nearly every day. The area my office was located in was cultural and artistic, and when things got really awful, I would go for a walk. This eventually evolved into full out excursions on my lunch breaks, and occasionally writing short haikus, like this:

Streets of cobblestone
The sounds of a saxophone
A street musician.

Punk rock boys in jeans
Outside the tattoo parlor
Cigarettes in hand.

A car accident
Truck ran into the trolley
People and camera phones.

The homeless man smiles
There are many public restrooms
He uses our alley.

I open the door
Back to my wageslave duties
Lunch break is over.

If anything, it kept me in touch with my sense of humor.

[anger courses]

We have all seen people who let their anger get out of control.
<a href=http://www.anger-classes.com/>controlling anger</a>

[Kevin Cunar]

I expected something a lot more physical ! :)
Great advice !
I've tried meditation but found a fast race (Forza) on my xbox was far more effective.
My doctors advice is to run like hell !! to release all the adrenalin built up

[Julie G]

I learned this over a decade ago from a really helpful HR manager. Stroke your neck!

Gently rub your neck from the jaw bone to the collar bone. It doesn't look like anything other than a mindless gesture that one would make while concentrating on their work, but it helps calm emotions tremendously. The trick is to remember to do it before you blow.