Jobacle Resume Writing Challenge - 3 of 7
About:
12 resume writers accepted the challenge of rewriting my resume. Who will win? Leave a comment with your thoughts and try to sway our panel of Jobacle judges. Read more about the inaugural Jobacle Resume Writing Challenge here.
Contender #3:
Miriam Salpeter owns Keppie Careers and has been helping clients with their resumes and job hunts for over 10 years as a speaker, blog author and coach. She earned a Master’s degree from Columbia University where she trained in career advising and counseling.
The Process:
Miriam was the only resume writer who wanted to see my resume before committing to enter the challenge. This instantly gave her some credibility. She also suggested that my career experience would lend itself well to an online resume created at visualcv.com. (I've attempted to set up a page several times, but I find their interface quite cumbersome).
After reviewing my resume, Miriam asked me to send her several job descriptions that would be potential targets for the resume. I took quite a few days to send these and Miriam was great at prodding me along - without being pushy.
The next step was arranging a one-hour phone conversation. Miriam made sure she had all of the information she needed in advance so that she could send me an early draft. Each of us having the edited resume in front of us when we chatted was helpful.
After our conversation, which also served as great job interview practice (she asks some tough, thought-provoking questions!), it was my job to respond to several questions Miriam asked directly on the resume. I also had to gather more data that helped qualify my experience and success.
Once the additional info was relayed to Miriam via e-mail, a second, 'almost final' draft followed. This version was also sent to a member of an 'advisory board' who has industry experience that is related to mine. Miriam says this helps her "ensure that I keep up-to-date with industry trends and preferences, which translates into added value for my clients."
I don't believe any changes were made after the resume was bounced off the board member. (Please correct me if I'm wrong, Miriam).
The final version can be downloaded or viewed below.
Opinions:
MOM: Interesting layout but I found it difficult to follow.
DAD: I like the layout that divides highlights and professional experience.
ANDREW G.R.: I like the bold results and I think the write up of my current job is on point.
CAREER COACH JEN: My eyes don't know where to go first on the page. Also off-putting is the radical change in formatting between page 1 and page 2 of the resume. The header is confusing with an odd arrangement of dashes, as is the gray box running down the left side of the first page and the apostrophes standing in as bullets.
JOBACLE WRITER LAUREN: This resume reeled me in with the bulleted highlights of what Andrew can offer and has offered with his past accomplishments. I also enjoyed the box of highlights to the left of the work experience, which maintained my interest as I continued to read.
ANDREW G.R.: I like the highlighted box, but the more time I've had to look at this, I'm starting to think it might be better served if it was used solely for freelance/blogging.
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JOBACLE WRITER LAUREN: The critique I have comes at the end of the resume, where the links of the blogs are listed (the instructions were for a paper resume) instead of going into depth about the blogging and podcasting experience.
ANDREW G.R.: I actually like that the blog section features links. While one could argue that this is a paper resume, I like the fact that people will know where to go and not 'Google' something random.
MOM: After reading it through a second time, I think the beginning and ending are good, but the middle is flat.
CAREER COACH JEN: The locations on the second page bleed to two lines and the writing in the gray box gets cut-off at the bottom. Verb tense consistency is missing in the first section of professional experience, with "overhauling" followed by "created" followed by "oversee". T
DAD: Tech skills should precede education and it would be nice if the blog section was on page one.
Contact Info:
Like what you've seen? Contact Miriam and tell her Jobacle sent you!
miriam @ keppiecareers.com
Keppie Careers
Keppie Careers Blog
CHECK BACK TOMORROW FOR VERSION #4.
Download Resume #3: (view original)
Additional lessons and tips when hiring a resume writer.
Andrew G.R.
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Reader Comments (14)
I want to point out that there are several formatting translation problems in your online version. I should have suggested that I send (and that you post) the final version as a PDF to maintain the actual format.
The shaded box was not cut off in the version I sent, there were no apostrophes as bullets (!) and locations were not bleeding to two lines! (Maybe Andrew can address this issue and re-post a corrected version?) This is a good lesson to any job seeker who plans to post a resume in an online program: check to be sure the translation doesn't interfere with the format.
While this is a "paper resume," most job seekers send them electronically. I think it is important to include the URLs so the blogs can speak for themselves.
To address Jen's concerns regarding verb tense: It is appropriate, in a current job, to use the verb tense that matches the activity. Since the "overhauling" project is not complete, I believe that saying "overhaul" would have been inaccurate. (I discussed this with Andrew, and he indicated that there isn't a lot to show for his work on this project that is in progress.) Since he "created" a community (it is finished), past tense is correct, and present tense is correct for the remaining bullets.
As Andrew mentioned, my clients gain in-depth understandings of their skills and accomplishments. Knowing what they have to offer helps them market themselves in networking situations and in interviews. (This is important because you need more than a great resume to land a job.) I also include one hour of free coaching with every resume rewrite. (Andrew didn't participate in coaching.)
It is easy to write a document that looks like every other resume, but since Andrew is in a creative industry and the challenge was to create a resume that he could use for BOTH freelance AND job opportunities, I chose an atypical format. Ideally, a job seeker would use different resumes for different types of jobs.
The responses are not surprising - one likes what the other dislikes. This is inherent in resume writing: there is no one "perfect" resume. In my experience, the most important thing is that the content is targeted to the hiring manager and key words are optimized.
I invite readers to visit my blog: www.keppiecareers.wordpress.com to learn more about what I have to offer and for tons of free job hunting advice!
Normally when I see resumes, I see people just listing what they have done. This resume lists what is accomplished using what skills and how. Something that can be reproduced. And how did he accomplish that? By using the technical skills listed below. Got examples? See the blog-lists.
Haven't seen the previous version where the layout got mangled, just have to say that I thing that PDF is the only way for final versions.
There is a fine line between giving just enough info and NOT enough. I think I'd discount a resume from an experienced professional that was just trying to raise my interest (a la the horizontal version). I don't have time - just let me know what you've done!