Caffeine Banned From the Workplace

I'm about to propose something that will make you want to smash my head with a stapler and then roll me over with a copy machine.

What about a caffeine-free workplace?

Whoa! I know, it sounds like I'm a militant nut. But come along for a ride in an alternative universe where caffeinated beverages are banned from the workplace.

Picture a time where people are stashing thermoses filled with coffee in their desk drawers and keeping coffee beans in their cars. The fear of random drug tests keep everybody on their toes. The best performing stocks belong to companies who have mastered the art of decaf, and have found a way to distill other 'legal' energy boosters into hot drinks.

It might not be plausible, but it also might not be impossible.

I'll tell you straight up that if I ran a company (larger than Jobacle!) I wouldn't want my employees suffering from the myriad of problems caffeine brings with it. I'd even be willing to foot the bill to help them kick the habit.

When you hire a coffee drinker, much like a smoker, you are assuming a greater risk - and there's a good chance you will get less productivity out of that person versus a non-drinker. Plus, your health insurance costs could skyrocket.

You already know the negatives, you addicts! But here's a quick recap:

- Sleep for a shorter period of time.
- Crave fat and carbohydrates
- Be irritable when your dependency is interrupted
- Suffer from headaches
- Increased level of stress
- Restlessness will keep you from focusing

Will we ever see legislation that bans coffee drinking at work? Probably not. A caffeine cap at prisons didn't even fly.

It's just a thought. But shouldn't something with so little upside be frowned upon by more employers?

I'd love to hear about your company's coffee habits. Do they make java readily available? Have you seen signs of caffeine discouragement?

Your thoughts are always welcome. I don't want to impede on anybody's freedoms, but I think there's an interesting conversation to be had.

Full Disclosure: Your author is an avid decaffeinated white tea drinker and thinks coffee is way overrated.

Comments

[Krod]

In Florida it is legal to conceal a firearm in your car at your place of employment.

I recommend that businesses in the State of Florida do not ban coffee.

Just saying.

[Frannie]

No coffee, no way! We often see eye to eye, but not on this issue. Vices are abound at the office. Coming soon: No more fingernail biting or knuckle cracking?!

Sent from the bottom of my coffee cup.

[Norcross]

No upside? Have you ever seen people who haven't had coffee in the AM? Freedoms and liberty aside, the idea of losing the first two hours of my day because I'm dead isn't a pleasant thought.

And it's all the work I have to do that keeps me up at night. Not coffee.

[Holly Hoffman]

Insanity. I've just weened myself off caffeine on doctor's orders, but that doesn't mean I'm going to impose my crankiness on my coworkers. Poor b@stards.

[Marsha Keeffer]

I think you've got something here. Painful to admit, but I can be more productive when I have only a cup or two in the morning. Afternoon coffee was such a disaster I've given it up for tea.

[Vetta]

I completely agree with the no-caffeine rule. I A year ago, I stopped drinking anything with caffeine in it, including tea, and I noticed huge improvements in my sleep, productivity, and concentration levels. As with any drug, it may take some time to withdraw and get used to being without it, but the reward is a healthier body and mentality. I'm all for it.

[Dan Erwin]

Eventually caffeine catches up with most of us. I dearly love my latte in the morning. But if I have caffeine after 12, noon, I'm in trouble. Can't sleep--get behind,etc. About every three weeks I have to take a caffeine break for three or four days.

I have a number of clients who tell me that it happens in their early '40s. Some of them can't touch it after that.

Of course, caffeine is also a diuretic. So. . . that can cause problems.
Aging for about half of us will kill off the caffeine.

[Leeroy Glinchy]

I thought that this was a tongue in cheek satire meant to show how ridiculous banning _any_ drug in the workplace.

I liked the part about random drug screening the best.

I think the downsides to caffeine are the higher irritability and general restlessness seen in people with too much energy.

[Peter Cancel]

Say it ain't so; no more cup o' Joe? It hurts to admit it but this might just be a peek into the future.

[Nikki]

Ridiculous. I'm a night owl, but unfortunately, I have to set my schedule to the rest of the world. The only reason I'm conscious at all in the morning is caffeine. And yes, I've tried giving it up and "resetting" my sleep schedule all of which failed miserably. Some of us are just hardwired to not be awake at certain times of the day without chemical intervention.

[Shawn]

I appreciate the full disclosure about your caffeine consumption or lack thereof.

Is there research out there about employee productivity in caffeine-free workplaces? That would be an interesting bit of information.

Until the day comes when you have to stand 50 feet away from the building with the few remaining smokers, I'll enjoy my daily dose of Dunkin Donuts coffee.

[VK]

Like another blogger siad, I often do agree with most of your concepts. But banning caffeine????????
What a super CANDY ASS idea. Here you, of all people, who pride yourself on independent thinking, sound no better than the HR Wimps, who under the guise of political correctness have bastardized almost every (lower case L) truly liberal idea. What's next, the roman salute?

[Andrew G. Rosen]

Sounds like VK might be experiencing caffeine withdrawal. Perhaps you should pour another cup and find your 'center.'

[JP]

Coffee (caffeine drinking in general) talk non-stop when they are drinking, it's really annoying to tell you the truth. It reminds me of how a drunk person rambles on.

[Paul C. Herson]

How can Caffeine Addiction cause an energy rise in your body.

Caffeine is currently of the most consumed substances in the world nowadays, but many people ignore caffeine effects in the body, especially when a person suffers caffeine addiction or abuses of it somehow.

In this article I would like to point out the most negative caffeine effects on your body and what caffeine energy produces on your body, as well as mentioning some special facts about caffeine addiction.

Drinking various cups of coffees in a day is not good at all, especially if we drink it in the late afternoon or night, because the caffeine will stay in our bodies for up to eight hours, which affects our sleep.

Caffeine also affects the levels of cortisol in the body, leading to more cravings for carbohydrates and fats and mass weight onto our stomachs; abdominal fat causes bigger health risks than other kinds of fat. However, if you drink coffee in the morning and exercise straight afterwards, it can help you to burn fat 30 percent more efficiently than without taking it, because it helps to keep blood sugar levels up, making us less hungry.

Caffeine energy is understood as the energy that people usually experience when they consume caffeine. Caffeine energy usually gives our energy levels a temporary increase, but after it disappears we may suffer mild depression and start feeling lethargy, making it harder to exercise. So in other words, caffeine energy causes a quick improvement in our energy levels but it is just temporary and will cause an energy decrease afterwards making it hard for us to exercise.

You can find more info at: http://yourcaffeineaddiction.com/