Just Shut Up Already.
You are sitting at your desk pouring over numbers and reports and…your loquacious coworker walks up. You oblige the polite “how are you” and the “how’s project XXX going”. Apparently this person doesn’t get much attention at home because they are eating up your inquisitiveness like it is a famine and you are the only one offering bread.
You know these people, right?
It certainly is a nice feeling to truly connect with coworkers, not just on a work level but on a personal level as well. I am fully a proponent of not only making allies at work but for racking up at least one or two real friendships at work too. Let’s face it; some of the non-work conversations that happen at work make it bearable to be there (and sometimes to face those personal issues).
But then there are those “other” people. Those other people prey on the kind and good listeners of the workplace. Those other people that essentially use the good listeners as their personal garbage can when the spouse, family, roommates, fill in the blank, won’t pay them any mind.
It irks me that productivity suffers, that I have to stay an extra 30 minutes because I listened to their rambled and long-winded story, and most of all, that they felt compelled to share way too much information with me. And I hate to break it to you, if you have ever thought to yourself “did I just share too much information”, you did. You are one of “these” people.
Please tell me I am not alone. Does anyone else feel like telling these people to just shut up already?
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Reader Comments (4)
A good listener should be treated with respect - not taken advantage of.
As I've become more experienced, I have learned to identify these 'storytellers' and am not as kind as I once was. I will often leave abruptly - bordering on being rude - hoping they'll get the message. The funny thing is, they never do. Now I just always make sure I look busy. I don't want to be the guy who always looks harried - but some of those stories are painful!
How do you guys break free?!
A lonelyheart will apologize and go away, someone who's a little dense will say, "Oh, that's okay. I don't mind if you work while I'm talking," or something like that; and a jerk will get a light in her eyes that let's you know a button's being pushed. If you take a deep breath, smile and get back to work without saying anything else, the person will - with any luck - go somewhere else.
There are a lot of lonely people in this world. You should count yourself lucky that you're not one of them.
However, you raise a good point and I will be sure to assess whom I'm speaking with before I pass judgment.
But, again, if you can't do that because you have a job that requires your complete attention, just politely say, "Hey, I'd love to listen to your story, but right now I really have to focus on my work, otherwise I'll never get it done." Then you turn around and start working. If the person continues to linger, it's on him. Maintain your position and keep working as if he had actually gone away. Eventually, he really will return his own desk or find some other ear to bend.