We're ALL Role Models Now. And It Sucks.

In our youth, there is an unspoken feeling of acceptance for our mistakes. We know that there are consequences, but we’re young, foolish, and usually forgiven. It’s ok to mess up, it’s ok to rebel, and it’s all ok because we have our adulthood to make up for it.

Except now we’re adults. We have bills, mortgages, kids (well, just a cat for me), and other basic responsibilities. And it feels as though Big Brother is watching our every move. Are you really going to buy that candy bar? Are you really taking an extra 15 minutes for lunch? Are you really not going to participate in the afternoon discussion during your leadership training course?

Every vice or laziness that I used to give into- well simply because I felt like I could make up for it later- no longer feels like I have that luxury. And if I dare consider to buy that extra something or don’t participate like I should in a work-related discussion, the guilt that accompanies giving into that vice makes it not even worth it.

Suddenly I feel like I am required to live up to this role model standard 100% of my day. Quite frankly, it is exhausting. Granted, I am no longer the procrastinator and I am a much more productive employee and human being in general. But something is missing. The rebellious part of me that once was tied into my identity is being held hostage by adulthood. And the demands are outrageous!

Does it feel painful for anyone else to live up to the constant responsibility of being a role model?

Comments

[J.T. O'Donnell]

Wow - I love this post. I definitely felt that way after college and in my early twenties. Then, things changed. I realized I was the one putting the pressure on myself because I was living up to other people's rules. I started challenging myself every time I felt the way you described and then made conscious decisions about what I believed to be true, necessary, etc. Sort of a 'take back my life' process. Now, when I start to feel that pressure creeping up, I can step back more easily and say, "Wait a minute. No one is requiring me to do this. It's my decision. Do I want to do this or not." And then I make the decision and own it. Some how, for me (again, I realize I'm not describing it well) this makes the stress go away.

Best of luck!

[Candice]

It's your own conscience that's putting pressure on you. You want to create or preserve a certain reputation, and that's fine, except when it starts to make you feel oppressed. If you want to take 15 extra minutes for lunch one day or eat a totally decadent piece of chocolate cake, do it. Just don't make a regular habit of it.

Living your life based on what others think of you - or what you want them to think of you - will make you old before your time. As long as you stay true to yourself, your character will show through no matter what anyone else thinks, says or does. So be yourself and enjoy your life. As far as I know, you only get one.

[jan]

Everything in moderation is my mantra. You must have picked up a little Catholic guilt going to church with Grandpa. It gets a little easier as you age. You try not to sweat the small stuff because there is big stuff like illness, deaths, and job loss. Now I've really depressed you so go have that cake just forget the guilt.

[ForexMit]

Your right there are great opportunities but paying for one isn't the best