Over the past six months, I’ve flown on roughly 10 roundtrip flights.  Excuse me for the ranting that is about to occur, but my last flight was the worst of them all.  Out of all 20 flights, only two came in on time and without any problems.   

I couldn’t help but think, “What would I do if I was required to travel this way for my job?”  If your job requires you to travel, bite the bullet otherwise known as rising gas prices and DRIVE.  At least that’s the conclusion I drew.  It used to be that we flew for convenience, relaxation, and to get us to our destination quickly.  Well those days are over.

The airlines lead us to believe that the majority of delays are due to occurrences out of their control, such as weather conditions.  However, taking a look at the year-to-date numbers (January - April 2008) from the Bureau of Transportation Statistics, it shows a very different story...

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Is it just me, or do offices never seem to have an adequate amount of space for all workers?

I'm not even talking about comfort. I mean literally having enough desks and chairs to go around. People always seem to be shoehorned into a corner near a fridge, or offices are shared when they should be solo. And let's not forget about the shrinking distance between cubicles.

At $100 a square foot in major metropolitan areas, I can almost forgive companies for dehumanizing us into sardines. However, what excuses do their suburban counterparts have? From urban centers to quiet suburbs, I've repeatedly seen this phenomenon, regardless of ZIP code.

If that weren't bad enough, it appears many people never learned the limits of personal space. Thanks to some studies conducted with zoo animals in the 1950s, then adopted by anthropologist Edward T. Hall, the term "proxemics" was born. Studying spatial relationships between people, here are the general guidelines for human beings as they interact... Read more of my article at U.S. News and World Report.

 (Editor's Note: While we strike to help you make work better, sometimes a good ol' fashioned rant is in order.  Please excuse us.  Chris hasn't had the best day at work.)

If Hitler was the as*hole of the 20th Century, then my boss is the rusty bullet hole of the 21st. It is beyond me why my company would hire such an inconceivable, gigantic, heap of steaming horse sh*t, to do the job that he apparently does. If you, like me, are fed up with your boss’s shenanigans, then you should use this article as a way to unleash your distain, anguish, and unventilated-raw-old-fashioned-anger. So, without further adieu, here are 3 ways to kill your boss.  
 
Death by Dildo

Invite your boss down into the basement of your office building for a chat about the state of today’s economy. Why you would select this as a suitable location is beyond me, but let’s continue none the less. Take one large black dildo (this set of criteria is important for no apparent reason), and when your boss’s back is turned, you should sneak up behind him, and with a sufficient amount of force you should strike the temple region with the tip of the dildo. Hopefully the meningeal artery will burst causing hemorrhage, and eventual death. How embarrassing.  

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Ah, summer is right around the corner and along with that comes…VACATION!  

Or does it?  

We already know that Americans are working more and taking less vacation than they ever have before.  While companies are starting to recognize the need for a work-life balance and beginning to offer increased vacation time, many employees are reporting that those same companies have an unwritten rule to not use up all of that vacation time.  In fact, many employees feel as though they have to beg for the time off, or worse, hide their vacation like it’s a dirty little secret...

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As we all know, there are many types people who work around the office. People of different color, race, background, and culture. But no matter how many diverse people you bump into, there always seems to be some constant personality types which are present. To be honest, I will need your help on this article as I am finding it hard to categorize observable traits into personality types. Below are the first four personality types I found scurrying around the work place, and hopefully you can suggest some more.
 
The Spoofer
 
For those of you who are not familiar with Dublin slang, a spoof is a lie, and of course, according to the rules of grammar, a spoofer is a person who spoofs. Not only do these people lie constantly, but anything you can do, they can do better (well, at least according to them). If you are good at football, they are experts. If you are handy in the kitchen, they are culinary wizards.  And if you are any way decent in the sack (bed), then they are the equivalent of Ron Jeremy. I find that the best way to deal with these ridiculous human specimens is to either put up and shut up, and accept their nonsense, or to drop kick them down a flight of stairs. I recommend the stairs.
 
The Egotistical
 
There are so many egotistical dudes walking around my office, and I love it. They are just so damn amusing to speak to and to watch. You know the type, they think they are God's gift to the world, constantly preening, fixing, and watching themselves in any reflective surface in their immediate area. They have a kind of John Travolta strut in Saturday Night Fever. Oh, and they will not be working in "this place" for much longer, as they are just waiting for their millionaire plan to hatch, and then they'll be gone. But don't be too harsh on them. I find the best way to interact with this type is to give them some hair gel or make up, and tell them what beautiful people they are, and God bless them they need it, because underneath it all, lies an ego waiting to crumble.
 
The Driven
 
This type of personality can usually be found in executive staff, managers, supervisors, and the up and coming go getter who has just been employed. They are constantly talking about the goals they have in place, and how they will work their asses off to get what they want. They are the first in the office in the morning, and the last to leave at night. They hardly ever get to spend time with their friends or family, and are never satisfied even when they do achieve those wondrous goals. Even so, most people who display this personality type usually do very well in business, and tend to earn a lot of money. The problem is that they cannot switch off, constantly complain of stress, and then die of a premature heart attack at the age of 50. The way I see it, these people have 2 options.

(A) They can take lots and lots of Xanax.
(B) They can move to the Canary islands, open a small bar on the beach, go surfing everyday, marry a Dutch chick called Heidi, live simply, give more, and expect less. Easy!
 
The Slut
 
Ah the office slut, I love ya Susan. The Temple bar at 9 tonight? If I can't pick up another chick, you'll do. See ya there sweetheart.
 
What office types do you find yourself frequently dealing with?

This is a guest post by Chris O'Hara. 

Politicians take heed: more than half of US workers say the American Dream is unattainable and nearly half blame the political system for the deterioration in their economic circumstances, according to a new national survey.

The workplace poll, conducted in May 2008 by Zogby International for The Marlin Company, The Workplace Communications Experts,  found that nearly three-quarters of US workers (74.7%) say the American dream is not as attainable today was it was eight years ago; 52.4% say it is simply unattainable for the average American (see charts). The survey defines the American dream as "the opportunity to have a nice home, financial security for you and your family, and hope for the future."

The workplace poll also found that nearly half (45.1%) of US workers admit to being "bitter" because "the political system has caused a deterioration of [their] economic circumstances." Nearly half (47.5%) of 30-49 year-olds surveyed report feeling bitter, while only 38.4% of 18-29 year-olds feel bitter...

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As we humans creep towards a completely hedonistic society, we do not ask or request to be happy all of the time, we demand it. Accordingly, it is not surprising that we are constantly looking for a job that “defines us,” and will allow us not only to express ourselves both creatively and intellectually, but will also make us whistle as we work, whilst offering a very generous salary with health care and dental. This is probably the reason why, in the Western world, so many people job hop in order to achieve these goals. Well, let me tell you, you should count yourself lucky; you could have been stuck with one of these ridiculous, sometimes embarrassing, sometimes down right degrading jobs.  

Here are 5 of the worst jobs I could find in my meandering...

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Earlier this week I begged for your help. My boss insists that my tie knot be knotted high and tight, resulting in the suffocation of your humble blogger.

Straight out of the 'things could always be worse' chapter, check out how China's paramilitary paramilitary police are forced to roll.

Nothing like a pins in your collar to perfect posture.

Read more about uniform torture here.

When asked to list the most dangerous jobs, my mind immediately thinks of those that require physical labor:  deep-sea fisherman, loggers, miners, and even pilots.  Just as the workplace is changing to a more virtual environment, the dangers are changing from physical to mental.  The New York Times recently had an article that named blogging as a dangerous profession after three well-known bloggers suffered heart attacks.  Well of course this scared me a bit, being a blogger myself, so I decided to do some research.

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What happens when you head downhill and race over a ramp in your office chair?

Seventy participants christened the inaugural German Office Chair Racing Championship.

We're already working on the Jobacle Chair Prix to bring this magical event to the U.S. So grease those wheels and stay tuned!