Start the year off right - plan your sick days now! Print the official calendar and get your excuses ready.  Only a sucker loses days at the end of the year!

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day: You have a dream. And it's four straight days away from your boss's ugly mug and Microsoft Outlook. Call in sick on Friday, January 12 and Tuesday, January 16.  Winter's in full swing and the "flu" is hard to fight.  Make MLK proud!

Valentine's Day: Romance has a price. You'll be oozing so much love that a full 24 hours to recover is in order. Get the sniffles so you can snuggle on Thursday, February 15.

President's Day: Honor thy country. Since you didn't even know Hayes and Tyler were presidents, you better take off Friday, February 16 and Tuesday, February 20 to study.  I sense a headache. 
*And for those of you with big cajones, you can bridge Valentine's Day and President's Day for a mini six-day festivus.

Easter: It can't be "Good" Friday if you have to punch in. Plus, you need to recharge and resurrect your career.  Call in sick on Friday, April 6. Those chocolate bunnies also gave you a tummyache. Take an extra day to find missing eggs and digest that lamb on Monday, April 9.

Memorial Day: Use the official start of summer to plan  how you'll call in sick for the next three months. By taking Friday, May 25 and Tuesday, May 29 off, you'll show your boss that this summer, you're using ALL of your days.

Independence Day: It's a holiday based around independence. Show your employer that you're a true individual by giving yourself Thursday, July 5. A necessary day to recover from BBQ overload.

Labor Day: A single day to salute the men and women that make America work is insulting.  Take off Friday, August 31 and Tuesday, September 4 to recover from a action-packed summer.

Columbus Day: If you're lucky enough to work for a company that still gives this day off, we recommend you take Friday, October 5 to discover your true destiny.

Halloween: Put on your invisible suit. Giving yourself Thursday, November 1 will be a sweet treat that lets you spook the night away.

Thanksgiving: If there's one day on this list that you actually take - make it this one!  The entire dynamic of Turkey Day changes when you know you have three solid days to recover. The silly will shop on Friday, November 23, the intelligent will digest.  Give your self an early holiday gift with Monday, November 26.

Christmas: Even though you're spending more time daydreaming at your desk then actually working, it's a bummer to even play the game. Sure, traffic will be light and your boss in a jolly good mood - but you've got sick days left - and only suckers waste them. Make Monday, December 24 and Wednesday, December 26 all yours.

Visit our message board to leave suggestions on other great sick days to take.  Better yet, call our toll-free hotline and "call in sick."  We'll play your calls on an upcoming Working Podcast. 

U.S. News & World Report has published the "Get-Ahead Careers for 2007."  You can find the article on Yahoo - but quite honestly, we feel it's a waste of time.  It's the same recycled list that you get every year.  With amazing advice such as:

"Many experts predict further terrorist attacks on U.S. soil. If that should happen, watch for a hiring boom in the areas affected. A cyberterrorist attack, for instance, would produce lots of jobs for computer-security experts. If the water supply gets poisoned, toxicologists will suddenly be in high demand."

Genius!

"Immigration. The growth in America's Hispanic population seems likely to skyrocket, creating a virtually unlimited demand for translators, English-as-a-second-language teachers, and bilingual workers in healthcare and the legal system.

Brilliant!!

Don't get me wrong, many of the career sites have some great stuff to offer.  And when they do, we'll let you know about it.  But it's tired lists such as this that fuel our fire to bring you something more.  A place where your voice is more important than what the "experts" have to say.  So that being said - what do you think will be hot careers in '07?  Leave your predictions below.  Whatever they are, I'm sure they'll be more creative and less obvious than the aforementioned gigs.

Please subscribe to this blog for the real deal on everything career-related.

The Jobacle.com crew hopes you have a happy and safe New Year's!  Now today's history lesson! ;-)

THE STAPLER:

It holds together TPS reports and keeps down the carpet.  We can thank the analness of King Louis XIV of France for these "fastenating" devices.  Apparently, he insisted that the insignia of the royal court be inscribed with what came to be known as staples.  As the use of paper picked up steam in the 19th century, Samuel Slocum created a device that stuck pins through paper to keep it together.  Since momma didn't raise no fool, he was awarded U.S. Patent No. 56, 587.  Thankfully, staplers are about 2.5 pounds lighter than their predecessors - but that doesn't stop that last damn staple from jamming every time.

THE PAPERCLIP:

File this under 'anyone could have thought of that.' A thin wire bent into a looped shape that holds papers together via pressure.  The kick in the nuts is that the paperclip's inventor apparently WAS raised by a fool: he never got a patent.  However, that didn't stop the Gem Manufacturing Company from patenting a machine that made these clips in 1899.  And if you think David Hasselhoff is big in Germany, paperclips are even bigger in Sweden where they are simply known as 'Gems.'  And speaking of big, the largest paperclip in the world is on display in Florida, Massachusetts.  The most annoying paperclip - on display in Microsoft Office.

SCOTCH TAPE:

Kleenex, Jello-O and Scotch Tape.  All brand names that scammed the global public into thinking their names are synonymous with the generic items.  So where did the "Scotch" come from?  Legend has it that the original product produced by 3M failed to stick since they were cheap with the adhesive.  So they blamed their bosses - all Scots.  Enter Scotty McTape (I'm NOT kidding), the brand's cartoon mascot, and the product's success has stuck since the 1930's.

BINDER CLIP:

Some of us use condoms.  Others need Magnums.  The binder clip is the big brother of the paperclip, available for all of those big jobs the little guy can't handle.  Most offices stock three sizes and supply endless hours of fun as you clip it to the end of your pointer finger.  Note: In the U.K. these bad boys are known as bulldog clips.

BULLETIN BOARD:

Cork boards are gathering areas for people  to leave public messages such as, 'don't let the lip of your water bottle hit the cooler spout,' and other urgent messages.  While Cork is the second largest city in the Republic of Ireland, Portugal produces the most.  Of course, since half of the things posted are B.S., the cork would have been better used for its two other important uses - sealing wine and preventing space shuttles from exploding.

HOLE PUNCH:

Circular razors allow you to turn any piece of paper into Swiss cheese.  Available in one to eight hole versions, an industrial version can punch holes in up to 470 sheets of paper.  And while most models have a chamber  to accumulate the waste paper circles, I guarantee you'll leave a trail from your desk to the garbage as you try to discard them.  Where's the patent for a shed-free hole puncher?

PENCIL SHARPENER:

I would not have guessed that the French invented the manual pencil sharpener.  In 1828, patent #2444 shaved off Bernard Lassimone's place in history.  And since it is soooooo much work and effort to sharpen that trusty #2, the gadget gurus at Hammacher Shlammer devised the world's first electric pencil sharpener in the 1940s.  Man those Sharper Image dudes must have been pissed!

For everything career-related listen to the WORKING PODCAST - a weekly Internet-based radio program that combines realistic career advice, workplace humor, word-of-mouth job listings, salary reveals, and listener rants.  We're relaunching on January 7, 2007 and can't wait for you to join the show!

This is a simple question from a simple man.  Like most of you, I toil the day away in a cube.  My only relief: a one hour lunch break and Digg.  You can imagine my surprise when I went to go submit a story yesterday and received this shocking message, "Access blocked. Consult your administrator."

Red-faced with rage, I sat at my desk and zoned out for the rest of the day.  After some deep breathing I called my friend Jon.  He told me that he's NEVER been able to submit a story to Digg from work, let alone "Digg" anything.

Since this blog and podcast is all about things work-related, I was wondering - is this a cultural phenomenon that we should all expect more of?  As sites get big, will our employers block us?  And if they do - do any of you know of any workarounds? 

Share the wealth!  Leave a tip on our toll-free hotline 888-786-1080 or e-mail us at jobacle@gmail.com.

"I'm too old to change."
"It's too late."
"I need to finish (insert your excuse here) first."
"I just have bad luck."
"The timing is off right now."
"Someone has already done it."
"I deserve this."
"Karma's a bitch."

Defeating yourself is lame.  But some people make a hobby of kicking their own ass.  We're not gonna tell you what your internal dialogue should be - but if it's any of the above statements - you need an attitude adjustment.  The tips below should get you on the right track.  Don't wait for January 1 - start today!

-Write down your self-talk. Whether it's you wishing your boss dead as he drones on and on about your errors from the past year, or you getting angry at yourself for missing a traffic light - put it on paper.  After a week or so look back at your self-talk. Seeing the words in print can be a real eye-opener.  

-Analyze what you've written.  Ask yourself the following about your automatic self-talk: Is it rooted in reality?  Are you projecting?  Anticipating conversations that haven't even happened yet?  Is it positive or negative?  Would you speak to your mom like that?

-Talk to yourself nicely.  You're pretty nice to the people around you, right?  Think of yourself as a plant.  Water yourself, give yourself light and make sure you are nurtured: it's the only way to grow! Negative in-speak is designed to hurt your self-worth - and if you're reading this blog - we know you want a better life at work.  Nice work, killer!  Great Book: Anger (a MUST-own for every cube dweller.)

-Happy thoughts. Heck, even neutral thoughts.  A lot of this is embedded into your subconscious, so reprogramming yourself might not be easy - but if you start today, you'll be that much closer to a new you.  You've been saying this stuff in your head for a long, long time.  Simply start by stopping yourself when it starts.  Kill the ol' mental snowball before it turns into a monster. Great Book: Attitude is Everything Workbook

-Snap! Wear a rubber band around your wrist.  Every time one of those negative thoughts pops up - SNAP!  If your wrist looks like a pepperoni pizza at the end of the week, it's definitely time for a change. Great book: The Power of Positive Thinking

We're realists here at Jobacle.com and we know it's harder than it sounds.  Heck, we kick the crap out of ourselves when we only get 8 Diggs for a blog post.  But like you, we're a work in progress.  And we'll keep telling ourselves we're great until we actually are.  ;-)

-Tumbleweeds.  No one is here today.  The early bird gets the worm, and those who were smart requested the days bridging Christmas and New Year's early in the year. (Put in your request for '07 now!) People are either using their remaining vacation days, milking their sick time or are still sitting on the porcelain throne from all the crap they've eaten. This means no meetings, no one blocking your way to the coffee pot and not needing to fake washing your hands in the rest room.

-Faking it.  Nothing gets done this week.  Nothing.  Unless you're a doctor saving a life or a party planner putting together some New Year's eve bash - you've got nothing to do.  This is the kind of week that you realize that surfing the Web full time could actually get kind of boring.

-Cleaning Up.  I don't know about you, but I clean my desk at the end of the year like I'm never coming back.  Besides, there's nothing else to do.  It's amazing how an empty desk and the smell of Windex get them whispering about your grand exit.  I think I have my period today too cause I'm throwing out files, deleting e-mails and putting random photos into folders.

-Empty Roads.  I actually got to work so fast today that I had an extra 15 minutes to sit in my car and zone out.  I read the paper, ate a poppy bagel and sorted the change sitting in my cup holder.  It was nice not rushing to beat the clock for a change.

- Looking ahead. The new year offers hope.  At the very least, you know you're gonna get tanked on Sunday night and recover all day Monday.  The real depression hits on Monday, January 8 - knowing that the holidays are far behind, summer's nowhere in sight and you've got a full work week ahead.  But for now, work is golden - enjoy it!

Let us know if you like working this week - leave a comment below.  In 2007 this blog is gonna be THE source for Workhacks submitted by workers for workers.  Please subscribe now! 

Santa hooked you up.  You got sweaters, watches, and shiny new shoes.  Sure you're lookin' sharp - but you still have to report to that same dead end job tomorrow.  Your family should have known better (haven't you complained enough?) and bought you what you really need: something to save you from cubicle misery.  Hopefully you got some cash.  If so, here are four ways to spend it to get your career on the right track.

Resume Revamp
You never could get those bullet points lined up right. If you are leaking onto a second page and you're only on your third job, it might be time for a re-write.  It's a small investment considering you can make that money back in a single paycheck.  Don't shrink that font to an 8-point, let a stranger make you sound a whole lot better than you are!  *Listen in on the 01.07.07 relaunch of the WP for your chance to win a CV overhaul!

Career Counselor Sessions
Stop talking and start doing!  A good career coach can not only help you narrow down your interests but they will help you get there.  From setting up a game plan to providing you with the tips and tools to make it a reality, sometimes it's the jumpstart your stagnate ass needs!  If you're skeptical that you're going to get the same tired advice - I respect that.  But personally, I'm partial to the ladies at Make the Leap.  They are creative and realistic - and will tell you how it really is!  To learn more about what a career coach does - listen here.

Continuing Education
In person or online, getting a degree is expensive.  However, it all starts with a single class.  Even if you tell a potential employer that you are in-progress in obtaining that degree, they will be impressed (just make sure it pertains to that field).  Besides, you know how quickly time flies.  Start now and you'll be done before you know it.  There are tons of certificates you can get to.  A great place to start to make sure you're enrolling with an accredited school is GetEducated.com.

Learn a New Language
Experts say it'll keep your brain active, help you live longer and greatly increase your chances of landing a new job. (The ladies think it's sexy too!) Folks like Rosetta Stone have made it easier than ever to become multilingual.  You can learn at your own pace and do it right from the comfort at home.  You'll be saying "necesito un nuevo trabajo" or "ho bisogno di un lavoro nuovo" in no time!

The end of the year means that every organization under the sun asks 10 people what think about something and then publishes the results.  Check out a quick roundup of recent career surveys below.  But first, allow us to spank your ass raw for not using all of your vacation days.  Congratulations America, you wasted 574 million vacation days in 2006!  Are you proud? 

Seriously people, make 2007 the year you grow a sack.  No excuses.  If we don't take advantage of the little our employers give us - we get what we deserve.   It's YOUR time.  No guilt, no pay back, no thinking about "what are they gonna do while I'm gone."  I'll tell you what they'll do.  The planet will continue to spin and your company will be AOK.  #s:

 58% Vow to Network More
75% Will Look for a New Job
69% Avoid Crucial Conversations
32% Fake Illness to Get Out of Work
62% of HR Folks Think Good Candidates Are Fading

Shame on those who squandered days!

Odds are you're all gifted out and getting ready to focus your attention on 2007 and the obligatory New Year's resolutions.  Listen, you'll still eat like a pig when no one is looking, you'll never exercise regularly and you'll still park like an asshole.

The GOOD news is that a new study shows that almost 75% of people who make career resolutions actually keep them. 

Rather then give you the typical "brush up that resume" type resolution, our resident career counselors are hard at work preparing a great segment for our podcast relaunch on 01.01.07 that will give you some fresh and new things to strive for.

Making resolutions is easy.  Keeping them is hard.  Here are some tips from Online Recruitment Magazine on sticking to your guns and making 2007 the best year ever!

1. Choose a resolution that’s meaningful. Resolve comes easier when it is focused on something specific. Forget your list of 10, go with two!

2. Be realistic. Everyone has setbacks, so don’t give up if you break your resolution during the transitional period. Give yourself time to change, and treat yourself fairly. 

3. Make resolutions as a family. Having a common goal allows family members to support one another in keeping the resolution, and gain quality together time in the process.

4. Have a buddy. Recruit a friend or co-worker, beyond a family member, who can offer additional support when the going gets tough. Having a buddy also means you have another person who is aware of your goal, which can be a motivating factor as well. (Like staying positive at work!)

5. See the future. Motivation comes from envisioning how you will benefit from the change. When the going gets tough, think about how your life will be better. For example, will you have an exciting new job? Use this vision to spur yourself on towards your goal.

We'd also love it if you resolve to subscribe to this blog!  Your comments and feedback are always appreciated!

F. Waldo McBurney has won "America's Oldest Worker for 2006," an award handed out by Experience Works (an organization which strives to improve the lives of older people through employment, community service and training).

Now if I'm still working at 104 (heck, I don't even wanna be alive!), I don't deserve an award.  In fact, I'd consider myself a failure.  But the bee hive hauling, marathon running, bible toting senior has some good advice for all of us.

“Worry shortens life and makes life miserable...The easiest way to shorten ones life is to do nothing.”

Sage advice from a man who used to have to cut ice from a pond to keep the family refrigerator cool. 

Why not take a time out from clankin' at that keyboard and staring at the screen to be thankful for folks like F. Waldo.  They let lazy bastards like you and me retire the right way - enjoying daytime TV, playing on open golf courses, traveling the world - or doing whatever else floats our boat.

“Hard work didn’t hurt me, it helped.”

You go F. Waldo! Now get back to work!