After today I am taking the rest of the week off for a much-needed and long-overdue mini vacation. A few days sitting on the beach and thinking about nothing will be a beautiful thing.  And while I doubt I'll be able to shut my mind off completely, I will do my best to forget what my cubicle looks like.

That being said, I wanted to take this opportunity to thank every Jobacle visitor.  Since I launched this thing at the beginning of the year, I've been amazed at the feedback, growth and relationships that have formed.

July marked our best month so far:

The increased popularity of the Jobacle blog and the Working Podcast have led a lot of people to contact me about partnerships, advertising opportunities, etc. While I analyze every offer on an individual basis, allow me to give you a better idea of what I'm currently looking for:

Web site advertisers
Podcast sponsorships

I'd like to produce YOUR podcast.
Or write YOUR blog. 

Basically, I'm expanding the time I spend freelancing.  If you'd like to talk about rates or learn more about my experience, please contact me using the link to the right or e-mail me at jobacle at gmail DOT COM.

Most importantly, I want to continue to produce Jobacle.com to be a product that resonates with the everyday office worker.  Your feedback, input and stories will help take this project to the next level.

I hope you're on board for the ride.

Right now,I'm off to the beach.  See ya Monday!  ;-)

Fictional bosses. They are often even more dreadful than their real-life counterparts. They can utter the words "You're Fired!"on a whim, cause in the fake world, wrongful termination lawsuits don't exist. The list below is by no means complete. We need YOUR help! Share your opinions - and more importantly - your additions. Leave a comment on the blog, e-mail us at jobacle dot com or leave a voice mail on our toll-free hotline, 888/786-1080. Please subscribe now. This list was originally published as a PDF.  Due to popular demand, here's the text version. On with the list!

Buddy Ackerman, Swimming With Sharks
As usual, Kevin Spacey nails the role, this time as a back stabbing movie mogul in a story of two-faced revenge. When new assistant Guy starts his assistant job, the last thing he expects is to run meaningless errands, have his ideas jacked, and (the straw that broke the camel's back) assume that his current “girlfriend” is banging the bossman. Needless to say, Buddy gets his - and then some. And that results in vicarious living for all.

Mr. Angelino, Three's Company
We've all worked for a Frank Angelino. He takes credit for your hard work, hires crappy help (Felipe!) and keeps you shoved out of sight from the people who matter. Jack would whip up a masterful dish only to have Mr. A enjoy the accolades. To add insult to injury, once Jack was able to open up his own place, guess who was threatening eviction on a regular basis. Yup, Mr. A.

Blake, Glengarry Glen Ross
Mitch and Murray were probably the worst bosses of them all. However, Blake (a brooding Alec Baldwin) is their henchman, sent out on a "mission of mercy" to save the jobs of struggling salesmen. We don't know what you drove to work, but we drove a Hyundai. Any boss that is gonna pit co-workers against each other in such a cruel competition sucks ass.

Mr. Burns, The Simpsons
Growing up, Charles Montgomery Burns passed the time purposely injuring immigrant workers at his parents Atom mill. When he's not ruling his monopoly over Springfield's energy plant you can find him drilling for oil under the Springfield elementary school or using his office's large suction tube to transport dissident workers to Morocco. It's said that the former member of the Nazi party is worth 16.8 billion. With no heir apparent, no wonder Homer sticks around!

Joe Cabot, Reservoir Dogs
I don't think this is what a con man has in mind when he signs up for a jewel heist. Then again, our jobs never play out the way we expect. With his no-nonsense gruff demeanor, his ability to take away your real name and strip you down to a color - Joe ends up on our list. Plus, he got everyone killed (except for Mr. Pink). At least Mr. White did get the satisfaction of putting a bullet in his boss.

Don Vito Corleone, The Godfather
His dying words were, "Life is so beautiful." Seems funny coming from a man that spent most of his working life killing people. This kind and generous soul even made sticking orange peels in your gums frightening. Driven by that strict code of loyalty to the family, Vito Corleone decided his future was in his own start up business - either eliminate or consume all rival gangs in New York City and sell olive oil (not to mention gambling and bootlegging). Certainly not the type of company you would want to get into if you have a tendency to whine about sick days and shitty raises.

Faris al-Farik, Sleeper Cell
What a nice guy. He volunteers at the local temple and takes children to an LA Dodgers game. The irony is that he's neither Jewish nor a baseball fan - just testing to make sure his chemical agent will reach the field. Under his watch you're issued a beeper and expected to come to work any day/any hour. And don’t even think of putting this job on your resume or you might get stoned to death. Plus, no direct deposit. You're not even paid in money! Just virgins who are waiting for you in heaven. Praise Allah!

David Fisher, Six Feet Under
Sure the series ended with him and on-again off-again boyfriend Keith sharing hyphenated last names and raising two adopted children with poor manners and bad attitudes. Forced to take over Fisher and Sons Funeral Home after his father's untimely death, a frustrated and anxiety-riddled David sets aside his dreams of going to law school to crack the bullwhip on his often stoned and always soul searching brother, Nate, as well as their newly appointed disgruntled business partner, Rico. But don't let this tormented choirboy fool you, he once smoked crack with AND orally satisfied his attacker during a brutal carjacking. Dysfunctional? You betcha! Who says a funeral director doesn't know how to let loose?

Gordon Gekko, Wall Street
The Wall Street trader is famous for his "Greed is good" speeches, but there's another quote that lands him on this list: "Lunch is for wimps." Easy for you to say Gordo! You married the daughter of a billionaire hotelier, so even if your stocks hit the gutter, you'll still be on easy street. Isn't it an amazing country when one of cinema's ultimate villains becomes an effective recruiter for the greasy-haired Boiler Room wannabes.

E. Edward Grey, Secretary
Collars, whips and chains - everything you'd expect to find in your new boss's top desk drawer, no? James Spader plays the perfectionist attorney who is aroused by his new secretary's willingness to please. Mind you, what kind of boss would hire help straight out of the nuthouse? The sadomasochist relationship eventually in workplace termination… and marriage. Who says love can't thrive under the fluorescent lights of the office? He's a bad boss. But it feels so good.

Alonzo Harris, Training Day
Granted he was more of a partner then a boss, but this senior "official" forced PCP on rookie cop Jake Hoyt at gunpoint, uses a Chinese restaurant menu as a faux warrant to gain entrance into places and hides behind the "Blue Wall of Silence" - committing crimes of his own to "prevent" bigger ones. While there are bosses way above the ladder, answering to this psychopath is sure to put a strain on your career. But you can't leave, you need the health benefits.

Nathan Jessup, A Few Good Men
The fictional military world holds no shortage of shorttempered bosses. But Col. Nathan R. Jessep has no problem stepping on his subordinates to climb the Marine ladder. Heck, if he were your boss, he'd order a "Code Red" if you took an extended lunch break. And every time you ask for a raise or a promotion it would be so irritating to constantly hear, "You can't handle the truth!"

Mr. Kellerman, Dirty Dancing
Mr. Kellerman hires working class dance instructors for his upscale resort and expects them NOT to try to sleep with the guests? Come on! He treats his staff like shit while he kisses Jerry Orbach's ass, hires a scumbag like Robbie to be a waiter (who sleeps his way around the entire hotel), and then accuses Johnny Castle of being a thief (remember it was that old couple The Schumachers)! All Johnny wanted to do was give his private dance lessons, dance the last dance at the end of the summer soiree, and have the time of his life with pre-nose job Jennifer Grey. If the guy was willing to put up with that schnoz for the entire summer, then I say leave him be!

James Tiberius Kirk, Star Trek
I wouldn't call it a hostile takeover, but like any power hungry boss, Captain Kirk picked his moment to rise to the top - effectively "taking" the reigns of Enterprise. His appearance on this list can be contested - but to me, he always came across as a control freak who would let First Officer Spock do the heavy lifting while he'd sit back and reap the rewards. Over the years, he became pretty testy especially after the Klingons killed his son. I have the hunch that being his subordinate would not be fun.

Miranda Priestly, The Devil Wears Prada
Running personal errands, getting berated via cell phone and setting her subordinates to fail miserably by purposely communicating poorly - What a treat. There has been controversy over who this character is based after. The answer is simple - almost every person I've ever worked for! Emotional and psychological abuse at its finest.

Ted Roberts, A Very Brady Christmas
Stingy contractor Ted Roberts really screwed Mike Brady on Christmas. Because of his irresponsible decision to ignore safety standards on a downtown office complex project, Mike gets trapped in a crumbling building. The good news, of course, is that he could also be considered a matchmaker. After all, Alice and Sam did reunite.

Ebenezer Scrooge, A Christmas Carol
In fairness to Mr. Scrooge, he DID give Bob Cratchit Christmas Day off. With only disgust for the poor and the everyday worker, Scrooge thought the below-minimum-wage worker would be better off dead, thus "decreasing the surplus population." I've often had the same though, except it has to do with eliminating real-life bosses.

Keyser Soze, The Usual Suspects
At first glance, working for a boss you never actually see sounds like a plus. However, when it's a shadowy figure who didn't think twice about murdering his own family to prove his intestinal fortitude, you know there's going to be workplace pressures. Bosses don't get much more ruthless than Soze. Call in sick, he'd have your mother murdered. Botch a task, your sister will be raped. Jam the printer and... Plus, trying to be creative under Soze's tutelage would prove to be fruitless. This is a man who has faked cerebral palsy and turned a bulletin board into a person. What have you done today?

Mr. Spacely/Mr. Slate
Since The Flinstones are The Jetsons are bastard brothers, we'll lump these hot-headed bosses together. Whether it's the Stone Age or 2062 Hanna and Barbera taught us an important lesson: regardless of the era, bosses never change. George only had to work three hours a day, three days a week - yet that tyrannical shrimp Cosmo Spacely still found reason to fire George on a regular basis. Lucky for George, he lived in a future where Carpal Tunnel had been cured. All that button pushing could drive a man crazy.

Fred's time at the Rock Quarry always seemed like a decent gig. There are worse things than manning an animal to lift boulders while you chat with your best friend. One major problem was that the place was changing names on a regular basis - and that can't be good for business. Some accounts have Fred's regular place of employment being identified by 18 different names. Honorable mention: W.C. Cogswell of Cogswell Cogs (they had nothing on the Spacely Sprockets!)

Al Swearengen, Deadwood
Perhaps the king of nefarious deeds, this brothel owner and influential politico is no treat to work for. Aside from his excessive potty mouth (unless you enjoy being called a c**ksucker) he's the kind of workaholic who always thinks business first. However, he does have a generous side. "God rest the souls of that poor family... and pussy's half price for the next 15 minutes." What a sweetheart!

Willy Wonka, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Poor Oompa Loompas. At first glance, their gigs seem nice: free room and board, lots of singing and tons of candy. But what do you get when guzzle down sweets? You get to work for a mean control freak! Mr. Wonka, despite all of his money, pays the little guys in their favorite food, cacao beans. Their subservient nature aside, most employees should take notes from the Oompas - they're great at keeping corporate secrets and break into impromptu songs to break the workplace tension.

There are plenty of more to add. Join the fictional boss debate - leave a comment below.

It seems like almost every career blog and Web site offers up the same recycled advice.  As our regular readers and listeners know, Jobacle dot com tries its best to bring you a unique take in an already over-crowded genre.

Notice how the same "writers" and bloggers show up in all the same places?  All they do is troll each others blogs looking to riff on the same tired topics.  We're not going to name names.  You know who you are.  And so do most of your readers.

With that said, we are calling on career bloggers to issue a fresh voice.  We kindly request you join in on a joint post, "The Best Career Advice You've Never Heard."

We don't want to hear how you should never burn bridges and how you should always maintain eye contact - quite the contrary.  Share some out-of-the-box concepts and explain how they could actually help a career.  They can reflect a sense of humor.  The only criteria is that your item is different, useful and pithy.

E-mail me your unique tip and we'll include it on a larger post that we're working on.  Of course, you'll get full credit and a post back to your Web stomping ground.  Plus, a mention on a future episode of the Working Podcast.

To get you started, here's an example of Career Advice You Never Hear:

Take a Smoke Break - A few extra minutes a day away from your desk is hardly worth getting cancer over.  However, consider this... by simply picking up the habit (or faking it, which I do), you can expect to work 10 - 14% less then your non-smoking counterparts.

There's some career wisdom for ya!  I also suggest that you pretend you are religious.  More on that when we publish the full post.

Send in your tip
Subscribe to the blog
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C'mon career bloggers!  Let's show the Web that we can dish out something innovative and new.

According to a new survey conducted by ExecuNet, a career-networking firm for executives, IT and sales pros are not very happy at work.  But guess who is: HR.  Maybe it's all of those raises and extra vacation days they keep approving for themselves.

Based on 2,149 executives earning an average salary of $221,000, the survey turned up the following.  Here's the % who say they are "satisfied" with their current gig:

HR = 67%
CFOs = 63%
Marketing = 44%
Sales = 42%
IT = 41%

It doesn't really surprise me that the majority of people are not satisfied at work. What does surprise me is that the tech world is at the bottom.   The top five reasons cited for dissatisfaction included limited advancement opportunities (13 percent), lack of challenge/personal growth (both at 13 percent), differences with culture (10 percent), "boss not a good match" (10 percent) and compensation (9 percent).

Why are HR pros so darn happy?  Is it the power to hire and fire?  Or is it that a certain kind of optimistic person is drawn to the job to begin with?  In my experience, I've often found HR pros to be friendly, upbeat and super approachable.  Sure, they often keep our resumes in limbo and assault us with memos on 401k-plan changes - but at least they enjoy doing it.

I'd love to get your take.  Leave a comment below!

It's a summer Friday, and I don't know about your job, but for me, it means virtually everyone of "importance" is nowhere to be found.

Why not use this slow time to learn more about yourself with our Forward of the Week.

Ever wonder what job you were meant to have?  Download the Job Predictor and find out.  You'll be pleased to know that the highly-accurate tool is very instinctive.  It pegged my as a Supermodel.  Duh!

Also, if you want to know exactly how old you are - to the second - then you need to download the Age Calculator.  I've been breathing for 79,839 weeks.  Let's hope that number continues to climb.

Both downloads are MS Excel docs that have been virus scanned.  Don't forget to add us to all of your fun office forward lists: jobacle at GMAIL dot com.

Holy smokes!

Regular readers of this blog have often heard me preach about keeping religion and politics out of the workplace.  If I only I took my own advice for this blog!  

I was probably not knowledgeable enough to introduce a Minimum Wage Challenge. Sometimes my ideas get me so jacked up that I jump a little too soon.

As John Chow and many others have pointed out, perhaps the entire concept of a minimum wage should be abolished.  I don't know.  What I do know is that $5.85 an hour, regardless of your socio-economic status, sucks.

The challenge does have many loopholes - and I am considering abandoning the idea (depends on the feedback that has been pouring in).  As originally pointed out, the goal is not to make people truly experience the difficulties of minimum raise, rather raise awareness of how difficult it is.

I am so pleased that a simple blog post has sparked some great dialogue.  Every argument has two sides.  Your thoughts and ideas and always welcome

If you are visiting us from John Chow's evil blog, I kindly ask that you subscribe!  We're your source for real-world career advice and WorkHacks.

Unfortunately, the Sunday Night Blues are not a band.  Rather, it's the feeling of the work week looming large, casting a shadow on the remainder of the weekend. It starts with your stomach sinking and then anxiety builds like an out-of-control freight train. Thank God It's Sunday (TGIS) is something you'll never hear.

Even those happy at work get caught up in the end-of-the-weekend doldrums.  We are all so busy living 24-hours ahead of ourselves that some people are even hit with the Sunday Night Blues as early as Saturday night!

While this illness knows no cure, here are a dozen things you can do to put the SNB's into remission.

Dirty Work Friday.  It's so easy to put things off for the next week - but the earlier you deal with pain - the less painful it is.  Tie up any loose or annoying ends on Friday so you don;t have to give it a second's thought over the weekend.

Bake a Cake.  I'm not kidding.  Not only will you keep yourself busy , but you will have something to look forward to the next day.

Schedule Depression.  If you gotta let it out - schedule it - and don't sweat it a second more.

Fake Yourself Out.  Tell yourself you'll call in sick.  The anticipation of not being there is sometimes enough to get you through.

Plan Your Escape.  Update your resume, apply for jobs, enroll in enrichment classes, etc.  Do something productive that makes you feel less trapped in the 9-to-5 follies.

Monday Is The End.  Do not view Monday as the beginning, rather the end.  This one is all a state of mind.  Sure Tuesday becomes the new Monday... but it could work for a few weeks!

Funnest Weekend Ever. The more fun you squeeze out of your weekend, the more satisfied you'll feel - and the more you will look forward to the next weekend.  An unproductive, boring weekend is a great way to double the effects of this crippling illness.  

Fantasy Time.  The goal is to lose yourself somewhere else.  Distract your mind so that you don't have too much time for nasty anticipatory thoughts. Watch a movie, read a book, etc.

Make Plans. I often find myself saying that I just want to "relax" on Sunday night and prepare for the week.  However, keeping yourself occupied gives you less time to sweat the small stuff - and the company of others is a great antidote.

Too Much Sleep.    If you're over-rested, you will have trouble sleeping on Sunday night.  Be careful not to sleep too much on Saturday night.  The SNB's love nothing more then keeping you awake and having you start the week nice and tired - don't give them an excuse.

No Snowballing.  It starts by you complaining about something someone said 4 days ago.  Next thing you know you're telling everyone in earshot that you don't need this stinkin' job. Let sleeping dogs lie and don't compound your problems.

Bottoms Up.  Sunday nights are prime for a drink.  We don't condone excessive use, but a few sips of wine could be the difference between a full-blown SNB attack and just a tremor.

We've all suffered from the Sunday Night Blues for too long!  Share your tactics and let's make Sunday night the new Friday night!  Please subscribe to the blog, podcast and tell a friend!

This week we are busy at work preparing our '08 budgets. Thanks to a handy article I just came across, it looks like we'll have to reject all of those requests for new calculators. Okay, so maybe no one has requested a new one - but just look at what your hands can do...

A quick time out to help pay our bandwidth and blog costs...

As regular readers of this blog know, I live about 20 minutes outside of Manhattan. Recently, my wife and I gave up on house hunting. We had been looking for close to a year. Our desired destination: Long Island, NY. One of the many realtors that showed us around was ReMax - and they are an authority on Long Island NY real estate.

Since prices are still sky high (I don't care what any of those "experts" say) we're going to sit on the sidelines for a while and save our pennies. But if you're in the real estate game, Long Island is where it's at!

What happened to the "lazy days of summer?" I don't know about you,  but for me, my stress level does not dip during the summer season.  Here are some quickie reminders on how to make your life a little less stressful.  Even if you only pluck a single nugget from the list below - you'll be better off!

1. Get up 15 minutes earlier in the morning. The inevitable morning mishaps will be less stressful.

2. Prepare for the morning the evening before.  Set the breakfast table. Make lunches. Put out the clothes you plan to wear, etc.

3. Don't rely on your memory. Write down appointment times, when to pick up the laundry, when library books are due, etc. ("The palest ink is better than the most retentive memory."- Old Chinese Proverb)

4. Do nothing you have to lie about later.

5. Make copies of all keys. Bury a house key in a secret spot in the garden. Carry a duplicate car key in your wallet, apart from your key ring.

6. Practice preventive maintenance. Your car, appliances, home and relationships will be less likely to break down "at the worst possible moment."

7. Be prepared to wait. A paperback book can make a wait in a post office line almost pleasant.

8. Procrastination is stressful. Whatever you want to do tomorrow, do today; whatever you want to do today, do it now.

9. Plan ahead. Don't let the gas tank get below one quarter full, keep a well- stocked "emergency shelf'' of home staples, don't wait until you're down to your last bus token or postage stamp to buy more, etc.

10. Don't put up with something that doesn't work right. If your alarm clock wallet, shoe laces, windshield wipers-whatever-are a constant aggravation, get them fixed or get new ones.

11. Allow 15 minutes of extra time to get to appointments. Plan to arrive at an airport one hour before domestic departures.

12. Eliminate (or restrict) the amount of caffeine in your diet.

13. Always set up contingency plans, "just in case." ("If for some reason either of us is delayed, here's what we'll do..." Or, "If we get split up in the shopping center, here's where we'll meet.")

14. Relax your standards. The world will not end if the grass doesn't get mowed this weekend.

15. Pollyanna-Power! For every one thing that goes wrong, there are probably 10 or 50 or 100 blessings. Count 'em!

16. Ask questions. Taking a few moments to repeat back the directions that someone expects of you, etc., can save hours. (The old "the hurrieder I go, the behinder I get" idea.)

17. Say "No!" Saying no to extra projects, social activities and invitations you know you don't have the time or energy for takes practice, self-respect and a belief that everyone, everyday, needs quiet time to relax and to be alone.

18. Unplug your phone. Want to take a long bath, meditate, sleep or read without interruption? Drum up the courage to temporarily disconnect.

(The possibility of there being a terrible emergency in the next hour or so is almost nil.)

19. Turn "needs" into preferences. Our basic physical needs translate into food, water, and keeping warm. Everything else is a preference. Don't get attached to preferences.

20. Simplify, simplify, simplify.

21. Make friends with non worriers. Chronic worry warts are contagious.

22. Take many stretch breaks when you sit a lot.

23. If you can't find quiet at home, wear ear plugs.

24. Get enough sleep. Set your alarm for bedtime.

25. Organize! A place for everything and everything in its place. Losing things is stressful.

26. Monitor your body for stress signs. If your stomach muscles are knotted and your breathing is shallow, relax your muscles and take some deep, slow breaths.

27. Write your thoughts and feelings down on paper. It can help you clarify and give you a renewed perspective.

28. Do this yoga exercise when you need to relax: Inhale through your nose to the count of eight. Pucker your lips and exhale slowly to the count of 16. Concentrate on the long sighing sound and feel the tension dissolve. Repeat 10 times.

29. Visualize success before any experience you fear. Take time to go over every part of the event in your mind. Imagine how great you will look, and how well you will present yourself.

30. If the stress of deadlines gets in the way of doing a job, use diversion. Take your mind off the task and you will focus better when you're on task.

31. Talk out your problems with a friend. It helps to relieve confusion.

32. Avoid people and places that don't fit your personal needs and desires. If you hate politics, don't spend time with politically excited people.

33. Learn to live one day at a time.

34. Everyday, do something you really enjoy.

35. Add an ounce of love to everything you do.

36. Take a bath or shower to relieve tension.

37. Do a favor for someone every day.

38. Focus on understanding rather than on being under stood, on loving rather than on being loved.

39. Looking good makes you feel better.

40. Take more time between tasks to relax. Schedule a realistic day.

41. Be flexible. Some things are not worth perfection.

42. Stop negative self-talk: "I'm too fat, too old, etc..."

43. Change pace on weekends. If your week was slow, be active. If you felt nothing was accomplished during the week, do a weekend project.

44. "Worry about the pennies, and the dollars will take care of themselves." Pay attention to the details in front of you.

45. Do one thing at a time. When you are working on one thing, don't think about everything else you have to do.

46. Allow time every day for privacy, quiet and thinking.

47. Do unpleasant tasks early and enjoy the rest of the day.

48. Delegate responsibility to capable people.

49. Take lunch breaks. Get away from your work in body and in mind.

50. Count to 1,000, not 10, before you say something that could make matters worse.

Courtesy of the American Lung Association