Finding Help for Major Career Issues

I can only recall one job that had no inherent stress: I worked in a small card shop while in grad school. I read funny cards, rang up a few sales and had plenty of time to study. The majority of people experience some level of stress or difficult issue at work and it helps to have a supportive, sympathetic ear when you need to talk it through. But sometimes it’s hard to know who would be the best fit when discussing major career issues. Do you talk to your co-workers, boss, a psychotherapist, friends, family or parents, etc.? When does it make more sense to consult a career coach?

First, let’s look at the pros and cons of getting emotional support from the people in your personal life. (Co-workers fall in both personal and professional areas as they can also be good friends.)

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People are so wrapped up in finding job opportunities, that they often forget the importance of how to quit a job.   If you’re not using the final weeks, months, days and hours at a job to reinforce your passion and expertise, you are missing out on a golden personal branding opportunity. The people you work with today, from the newly minted intern to the curmudgeon in clerical, could be the lead to a new job tomorrow.

Work hard until the very last second

The reality is that people WILL talk about you after you leave a job. They’ll likely blame you for things that you had nothing to do with.  Imagine how nice it would be for someone to come to your aid, defending your honor, even after you’re gone.  It is possible!  Give people very little reason to bad mouth you.   Not only do you need to work hard and tie up all loose ends when you come to the end of the road at a gig, but you need to be your own cheerleader too. Make it known that you’re giving the job your all until the very end.  You’ll be amazed at how impressed people will be to find you still there at 5pm on your very last day.  Or how thrilled they’ll be when you leave them instructions on how to do something that only you handled.  Not only will it help you brand yourself in a positive light, but it’s also good career karma.

Do not bad mouth the employer you are leaving behind

It’s no secret that people like to be surrounded by positive and upbeat people.  Upon quitting a job people will instantly expect you to bite the hand that is no longer feeding you. It’s an easy trap to fall into, but an important one to avoid.

Read more of my post at PersonalBrandingBlog.com.

You’d think the last thing that you’d want to do, after spending eight or more hours at the office, is read about working at an office. But, much like that TV show everyone loves, representations of lives similar to ours--even if they’re satirized or dramatized--give us comfort. Empathy is a powerful emotion. And it’s a coping mechanism. The following are a short list of good books--by turns dark, funny, and evocative--that share with us in the joys and agonies of the workplace.  

1. Then We Came to the End by Joshua Ferris

Joshua Ferris’ celebrated novel about working at an advertisement agency has been compared to The Office, but I think the book is much funnier. Winner of the PEN/Hemingway award for best first novel and Time magazine’s 2nd ranked book of 2007,  the novel is narrated in the  first person plural--that is, “we” instead of “I”-- and it’s the voice of the agency’s paranoid employees who squander their time playing games, gossiping, and making bets on who may be fired next.

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Is there an appropriate place to talk on your cell phone at work?  I've made several calls today, from several different locations, and have come to the answer - a resounding 'NO.'

AT YOUR DESK: Using the business phone for 'personal business' is frowned upon, but using your cell at your desk is a tell-tale sign that you are not working. Worse yet, you're inclined to distract others from their work. Way to go team player!

IN THE BATHROOM: Just plain creepy.  The concept of the work bathroom (which should be upgraded) is simple: do your business, wash your hands, and move on.  I work with a guy who texts while peeing, and that's just plain wrong.  I'm no scientist, but the likelihood for some nasty germ transfer must be paramount.

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The Winter Olympics in Vancounver are about to get underway. You know, the ones with actual athletes?  While there's enough snow here in New York to get some freestyle aerial skiing done during lunch, we'd rather stick with indoor Office Olympics.   The following made-up events will get everyone at work involved in some kooky team “sports,” and may even boost morale. They are most enjoyable when organized using billable time (what?), and without the knowledge of “the boss” (or whatever you call that guy who signs your check).  Cue the opening ceremony and lets get started!

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It’s a Scientific Fact

I made that up, but doesn’t it feel that way? With a holiday, you get a nice day off at the beginning or end of the week. But you know you’ll be punished on the remaining workdays. Not only has your workload multiplied while you were away, but the days seem interminably long. It takes 6 hours just to get to lunch!

There must also be a universal equation: holiday + boss’s bad mood = new projects he makes up out of thin air. It makes no sense that in a 4-day week you would actually have the time to complete tasks that it normally takes you 5+ days to accomplish. So throw in a new project and you’re doomed. Cancel happy hour or dinner out. You’re there for the duration. It’s a trade off - you get a day off, but the work awaits.

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Sometimes Snail Mail is the Way to Go

I just received a nice, potential opportunity which resulted from networking - my friend recommended me to a CEO for a job. The CEO told the friend to have me email my info to her directly. Nice! But I said to my husband, “I should probably first ask her if she is OK with attachments.” He thought she wouldn’t have given out her email address if she wasn’t comfortable with me sending the requested documents. So I sent an email with attachments. Turned out that she would have preferred I send the resume text in the email, so I obliged. But it felt like a misstep.

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What Happened to Social Skills at Work?

As Andrew eloquently put it in his post, “Violated at Work, The Death of Personal Space,”our personal space at work is shrinking and often encroached upon by co-workers. I’m lucky - I share an office with a cat (if he’s in the mood) and my spouse only works from home one day a week. I have a luxurious amount of space.
 
But a related issue has come to my attention lately - lax or non-existent social skills in the workplace. Just as some people who aren’t very adept at respecting your personal space at work, they also are not be picking on your facial expressions of “Can’t you see I’m busy?” annoyance, etc.

Since I work as a therapist, I should mention categories of folks who have a legitimate diagnosis that inhibits or prevents healthy social interaction. People who have a social anxiety disorder, for instance, can have such a high level of anxiety when they are around co-workers, that their social skills lapse.

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