Ever have one of those days at work where you dream of ways to get fired and depraved ways to make a splashy exit? Yesterday was mine. One of those days when uneducated underlings overstep their bounds? One of those days (when people who know better) "accidentally" forward an e-mail to upper management? One of those days, where as hard as you try, you can't help but hear everyone's phone conversations - and none of them are work related? Under the fluorescent lights, the devil was raging inside of me and I had to make it stop. If there ever was a time to lean on my knowledge of Buddhism - this was it. I've podcasted in the past about The Five Precepts (download here), and today, I'd like to share how I rely on the power of Zen to slow myself down, keep things in perspective and avoid going postal (joke!). The key? Seated Zazen. Basically, a "light" form of meditation that you can easily get away with at your desk. The beauty is, nothing is needed. No incense, candles, … [Read more...] about How to Squash Office Anger
No one likes to be ignored. Yet everyone claims to dread the annual ritual of your co-workers acknowledging the fact that you're one year older - which means another year gone by with a measly 3% raise.I was recently interviewed by the fine folks at the Globe and Mail about office birthdays. While fresh in my mind, here are the variations I've experienced. Please share your experiences in the comments section below and you could win our comments contest.IndividualThe folder goes around. Everyone signs your card and chips in $3 - $5.Pros: You get to feel special.Cons: The spotlight is on you, meaning 20 forced minutes of age-related jokes and fielding generic questions.Notes: The problem with this model are months like April, when it appears everyone was born!Once a MonthSimple. Everyone's birthday for the particular month is celebrated at once. Pros: Many birds, one stone. Variety of cakes.Cons: Where's the love? Gives new meaning to … [Read more...] about Office Birthdays: A Necessary Evil?
Henry Brown ruined Christmas. I'll never forget the flamboyant MTV Networks Office Manager who insisted I remove Christmas lights I had hung from my work studio. "They're a fire hazard." While I was annoyed at the time, I now realize that good ol' Henry was right. Incandescent Christmas/holiday lights are a common source of home fires during the holiday season, partly, because they cause a lot of heat and use a lot of electricity. The fact is, LED Christmas lights operate at 1 degree above ambient temperature. That means they remain cool to the touch even after hours of use. You'll also save energy! LED holiday lights only draw about .072 watts per bulb so they are not likely to overload a standard home circuit. Replacing your inefficient incandescent holiday lights with LED holiday lights will not only save energy but will improve home/office safety. Here's a summary on LED lights: * 90% less energy * 50,000 hour bulb life * Safer - cool to the touch * Durable 1 piece … [Read more...] about The Year MTV Banned Christmas
On a day when I am absolutely slammed at work, I share with you an e-mail that made its way to the Jobacle Inbox.Dear People At The Bar I Work At:Hello, I am your doorman. Sometimes I work at the front door checking your id but usually I am at the back door making sure no one sneaks in their buddy. You might remember me; I'm the guy in all black standing at the back of the club all night. I enjoy hanging out with you, I get to chat with people and get hit on by girls with daddy complexes and get drunk after work for very cheap. Its good times, but there are a few of you that I have an issue with. I'd like to let you know what’s going on, to prevent any unpleasantness later on.Guy Trying To Give Me Twenty Dollars To Skip The Line: I get it. You want to look like the man in front of your date by pretending you have connections, so you shake my hand with four 5's in it and ask how long the wait is. It’s exactly as long as it was before you greased my palm. We are at capacity, … [Read more...] about Dear People I Work With…
Since 1994 Monster.com has been the job boards "leader," and since that time, an endless number of "Quality vs. Quantity" debates have spawned. Love them or hate them, their is no denying that their quick rise (and ability to stay on top) has been impressive. Heck, they were the first dot com to sponsoring Olympics and on any given Sunday, have floating blimps around the nation.Now I've only been doing this career thing since 2005, but one consistent theme has clearly emerged: people hate Monster, yet people still use Monster! Maybe even OJ!I am constantly getting e-mails from listeners and readers blasting Monster.com and how much is "sucks." Well for all of you haters out there, you enjoyed the Website's recent hacking and now you'll get a kick out of this e-mail that they are sending around to employers:We think you'll agree that it's the best deal around: Purchase a single 14-day Job Posting and get two more free. … [Read more...] about Wanna Slay Monster.com?
At first glance, the Resume Hunter might like what he sees. Proven champion. Successful franchise owner. Diverse accomplishments in acting and broadcasting. However, most employers wouldn't get past the name: Orenthal James Simpson, aka OJ.And you thought YOU weren't getting callbacks! Here's a few reasons why we think OJ could be the absolute worst employee ever:- No Motivation. We've all dealt with lazy employees, but why should OJ finish up those loose ends? Every penny he makes is owed to the Goldman and Brown families after being found liable for their deaths in a civil court. And OJ will be damned if he forks over a penny of the $33.5 million judgment. With a cushy NFL pension (that the government can't touch), this guy has zero motivation to do a good job.- Cloudy, With a Chance of Murder. Nothing sends up a red flag in HR like a job candidate who has been accused murderer. Most employers steer clear of candidates who appear … [Read more...] about OJ Simpson: The Worst Job Candidate Ever
I'm working on a fun office game that we'll be launching later this week. For now, why not play a little game I like to call, "Things Could Be So Much Worse!" Create your game | Share | Play games | Pictogame … [Read more...] about Online Game: Cramped Work Conditions
When you walk down the produce aisle and look for the perfect orange you will look for one that is rich, vibrant and drenched in color. The thinking is, the more orange the peel, the better the orange. As you've probably learned the hard way, the peel has zero correlation to sweetness, juiciness or overall flavor.Looking for a job can be like shopping for an orange. Four thoughts:- Most oranges are actually green when picked. This means that the farmer (it is farmers that grow oranges, no?) had no idea what the quality of the orange was when picked. The same goes for that new job you are considering. The hiring manager might tell you about the amazing growth potential you will experience. Or how you'll be working with some of the most talented folks in the biz. But until you roll up your sleeves and actually work there for a few weeks, you have no clue what it's going to be like. During the interview, make it your business to … [Read more...] about Secrets of an Orange Job Hunt
FORTUNE Magazine is always "wowing" us with their "100 Best Companies to Work For." As far as we're concerned, work pretty much sucks no matter where you are. Are you telling me no one has a crappy, passive-aggressive, nightmare-of-a-boss at Google? C'mon! In honor of their list, we have one of our own. Jobacle.com Presents the 100 Best FICTIONAL Companies to Work For. Since they're not real companies, work can't suck as bad! We need your help to complete the list! Please leave a comment below with the fictional company you'd wanna work for and why. 100 Best FICTIONAL Places to Work Arcade Flower Shop, Three's Company: Never any misunderstandings. Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions, Harry Potter: Diagon Alley's finest. Victoria's Circuit, Futurama: Lingerie for robots. Hot! 33¢ Store, The Simpsons: No employee discount. El Banco Corrupto, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City: Fill your pockets. Silver Shamrock, Halloween III: Free masks (and snakes!) Stay Puft … [Read more...] about 100 Best FICTIONAL Companies to Work For
Your boss wears these underpants. Well, 2 out of 5 at least. Many newspapers and Web sites that cover the "career genre" are running this headline today: "2 of 5 Bosses Don't Keep Word." Yeah, no shit Sherlock. Why do people jump all over every survey conducted by Anybody, USA? I really hope as this podcast/blog grows we will give the hardest working souls out there a voice. No statistical garbage. Cause at the end of the day, do you care if you're among the 99% who couldn't care less about career surveys?That being said, I'll contradict myself and post a few findings by a study that will be released later in the year by The Leadership Quarterly (sounds sooooo important):• 39% of workers said supervisors broke promises.(Supervisors ARE human. Would you expect anything better?)• 37% said their supervisor failed to give credit when due.(Where the hell do the 63% work?)• 31% said their supervisor gave them … [Read more...] about Boss's Pants On Fire!