Manipulative people can be tricky to deal with at the best of times. Dealing with a manipulative person at work can be particularly hard when your job and professional reputation is involved. Here are some tips that can help you to deal with a manipulative co-worker.
Often when people come across a manipulative person at the beginning they give the benefit of the doubt. This isn’t a bad thing in itself, everyone can behave off par at times and we don’t want to not be able to trust anyone. However, if a behaviour or pattern continues and alarm bells are ringing, listen to them! It is possible to be too understanding. Don’t keep giving the manipulator the benefit of the doubt because you don’t want to confront the problem or really believe what is happening. Trust yourself and don’t keep allowing bad behavior.
Many manipulators get away with manipulative behaviours because no-one calls them on it. It can be hard to do, but it is worth being upfront with someone if they are being manipulative. If a colleague says something untrue or twists something, try to deal with it there and then. It doesn’t have to involve a confrontation – you can just state your view clearly and calmly. Dealing with things at the time and not walking over them will help you feel more in control and stops resentments building up. Manipulative people are less likely to try to manipulate you if they can see you won’t stand for it and may even realise that they are behaving badly.
Don’t Get Drawn Into Games
Manipulative people love playing games and stirring up trouble and drama. Try not to get drawn into manipulative games. Do your job, be upfront and try to keep your nose clean!
If you realise someone is manipulative try to limit contact. This isn’t always possible, but you can still try to put some distance between you as much as possible. For example, if you know your boss doesn’t always play fair, try to do your job to the best of your abilities but try not to get drawn into situations where they can twist things.
Get It In Writing
If someone is manipulative, try to deal with them in writing as much as possible. Having hard evidence in the form of an email makes it much easier to argue facts rather than having your words or perception of a situation twisted. If you are having a lot of trouble with a manipulative person or feel like you are being bullied, make sure you keep a record of your interactions.
If you need to, make sure you get support from your manager or HR department in dealing with a manipulative colleague.
Manipulative colleagues do not always know that they are being manipulative: sometimes it is a pattern unknown to them but is their way of dealing with life. However, that doesn’t mean you should accept it or put up with bad behavior!
Bio: Jen Smith is a Life Coach, Mentor & Writer. She has tried many career paths herself and now helps people achieve their goals and dreams.