I’m always amazed to find my inbox stuffed (ok, maybe sprinkled) with your great e-mails. Whether it’s the scoop on a hot new career resource, constructive criticism or just a note saying "yo, wassssup?" – I love hearing from you. That’s why today’s blog is turned over to you. Here’s a few random items that have been sent in from some working stiffs. I encourage you to reach out and hit us up with an e-mail (JOBACLE at gmail DOT COM) or a comment. After all, this is YOUR blog. A place for real-world advice and a forum to share anything career-related.
Gregory Burns Bridges!
As many of you are aware, today is my last day at the firm. It is time for me to move on and I want you to know that I have accepted a position as "Trophy Husband". This decision was quite easy and took little consideration. However, I am confident this new role represents a welcome change in my life and a step up from my current situation. While I have a high degree of personal respect for P*** as a law firm, and I have made wonderful friendships during my time here, I am no longer comfortable working for a group largely populated by gossips, back stabbers and Napoleonic personalities. In fact, I dare say that I would rather be dressed up like a piñata and beaten then remain with this group any longer.
I wish you continued success in your goals to turn vibrant, productive, dedicated associates into an aimless, shambling group of dry, lifeless husks.
May the smoke from any bridges I burn today be seen far and wide.
Why I Quit Hunter House Publishers (or, The Creep)
Here’s a poem about my last boss – a nasty little perv who hastened my departure for the working world by insisting that, although I was working in acquisitions, publicity and editorial, my main duty was to "smile when you gaze into my eyes". I picked up my purse and ran like the proverbial rabbit. It’s true that when we entered his lair, we had to sit down immediately so that his head wouldn’t be too much lower than ours. He was quite short, but more short of soul:
The Creep said, You must sit so I will be tall,
and they sat down but looked down at him through taller eyes.
The Creep said, I am the smartest of us all,
And no one laughed because that would be rude.
The Creep said, I can harm you, so I will,
and the pigeons on the windowsill cooed and preened,
And he strutted and cackled and threatened all day
and the People ignored him and all went away.
The Waiter Strikes Back
after a warm, boring spring evening of work at a restaurant (tgi fridays) i sat watching jerry maguire, one of my favorite films of all time. as i watched, i thought more and more about how much i hated working at my current locale. it’s my eleventh restaurant, and my only casual gig. so i go to a 24 hour kinkos, print out 150 copies of jerry
maguires mission statement (google: jerry maguire mission statement), get it bound in blue like in the film. pack a beer bong, and a twelve pack of beer in my car. I beer bong beer after beer on the way to work. i walk in to the restaurant, mid afternoon: 4 hours late. i go to the hostess stand, and read the first half of the mission statement
before they call the cops. i tell them i hate working there, passed out the 150 copies of the mission statement and then scram. that was the best day of my life. to be a nihilist and not have any work ethic, that is freedom. trust me.
– Harry D.
We’re open to ALL content. Whether you want to anonymously post that ridiculous internal memo or write a song about your foul-breathed boss – bring it on!