Start the year off right – plan your sick days now! Print the official calendar and get your excuses ready. Only a sucker loses days at the end of the year!
Martin Luther King, Jr. Day: You have a dream. And it’s four straight days away from your boss’s ugly mug and Microsoft Outlook. Call in sick on Friday, January 12 and Tuesday, January 16. Winter’s in full swing and the "flu" is hard to fight. Make MLK proud!
Valentine’s Day: Romance has a price. You’ll be oozing so much love that a full 24 hours to recover is in order. Get the sniffles so you can snuggle on Thursday, February 15.
President’s Day: Honor thy country. Since you didn’t even know Hayes and Tyler were presidents, you better take off Friday, February 16 and Tuesday, February 20 to study. I sense a headache.
*And for those of you with big cajones, you can bridge Valentine’s Day and President’s Day for a mini six-day festivus.
Easter: It can’t be "Good" Friday if you have to punch in. Plus, you need to recharge and resurrect your career. Call in sick on Friday, April 6. Those chocolate bunnies also gave you a tummyache. Take an extra day to find missing eggs and digest that lamb on Monday, April 9.
Memorial Day: Use the official start of summer to plan how you’ll call in sick for the next three months. By taking Friday, May 25 and Tuesday, May 29 off, you’ll show your boss that this summer, you’re using ALL of your days.
Independence Day: It’s a holiday based around independence. Show your employer that you’re a true individual by giving yourself Thursday, July 5. A necessary day to recover from BBQ overload.
Labor Day: A single day to salute the men and women that make America work is insulting. Take off Friday, August 31 and Tuesday, September 4 to recover from a action-packed summer.
Columbus Day: If you’re lucky enough to work for a company that still gives this day off, we recommend you take Friday, October 5 to discover your true destiny.
Halloween: Put on your invisible suit. Giving yourself Thursday, November 1 will be a sweet treat that lets you spook the night away.
Thanksgiving: If there’s one day on this list that you actually take – make it this one! The entire dynamic of Turkey Day changes when you know you have three solid days to recover. The silly will shop on Friday, November 23, the intelligent will digest. Give your self an early holiday gift with Monday, November 26.
Christmas: Even though you’re spending more time daydreaming at your desk then actually working, it’s a bummer to even play the game. Sure, traffic will be light and your boss in a jolly good mood – but you’ve got sick days left – and only suckers waste them. Make Monday, December 24 and Wednesday, December 26 all yours.